i mean, me turning 25 is so far away, say about 7 years?
that's still a long way to go.
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but then again i pause, and think. 7 years ain't very far away isn't it?
7 years ago i was listening to the click five's jenny and fall out boy's thnks fr th mmrs. (yup i was a hipster kid back then ok no jk hahahaha)
so suddenly this "things you want to do before you turn 25" suddenly resonated with every vein in me.
my future-sighted self had been called to the forefront for this random long-term vision interpretation.
and after questioning myself for a day, i kinda found the 5 things i want to achieve before 25, with the last one being more like a wish rather than something that i'd make happen.
oh well, hopefully this post will turn out interesting, so here goes!
1) choose passion over money
this would be the perfect diagrammatic representation of my thoughts that i am about to pen down.
at a young (?) age of 18 i wouldn't exactly say i've found my life purpose or interest.
things are still so transient i don't even what is going to stay and what is going to go.
when i was younger i once wanted to be a teacher so bad i actually invested in a whole load of whiteboard markers and an ikea easel-cum-whiteboard and pretended to set questions and photocopied a few sets of worksheets for my "invisible" class.
derived so much joy from it, which i don't even know how.
kids will be kids.
anyway after that i moved on from my "teacher-teacher!" aspirations to a counsellor.
like the kinds that you see in school that are pretty much slacking off in a cosy room, oops.
i believed in my great big ego that i was an excellent "advice-giver" and that i could solve any emotional problems with a few "pieces of my priceless advice".
utter bullshit because i realised how painstaking it would be to bear with all the shit you get from random outsiders you don't even know.
not as if you don't get enough bullshit in life yourself.
with that being said i would actually like to express my admiration for these counsellors/psychologists who have patience levels that never run dry eternally.
after getting over that crazy idea of venturing into counselling or psychology (which is probably one of the most cliche careers i've ever heard around), food came into the picture and ta-dah!!!!! nutritionist.
to be honest i don't even know if i'll ever make it as a scientific foodie out there because i'll probably just be cooped up in my own office raving about all the sweet treats i would be baking during the weekends.
anyway i really love food and i honestly believe in the power of it, how it can shape lives and transform people.
haven't completely abandoned this idea of nutrition as a career; the only thing stopping me is probably the fact that i won't make it big locally simply because the industry's too small.
so to date, what my current interest is probably journalism and writing.
i honestly adore the english language and it would be great if i could pursue something in the field of media.
editing and publishing maybe?
everytime i accomplish a piece of writing i always feel so accomplished and there is always that sense of joy when you find interesting viewpoints or complicated words to put into your writing.
writing is so much like cooking, except the fact that you will never burn yourself hehe.
okay back to the topic of passion over money. (i need to stop telling grandmother-long stories before touching on the main topic because at this rate i'll never be able to finish before 1am and there's school tomorrow)
so yeah i honestly don't want to be the airy-fairy pragmatic workaholic that slugs her guts out at a really shitty company that although pays well, doesn't give me happiness at all.
imagine going to work everyday and facing a pile of let's say...... something you really don't like. for me that would probably be analysing graphs depicting economic growth and writing shit-long reports on them.
oh my life, what meaning would there be anymore????
that would be like going to school now....
though the cost of living is rapidly rising and that this phenomenon is unseemly retarding, as much advice the sapient, prudent ones are going to offer me, i really hope i can land myself at a job that i enjoy.
even if the pay isn't as bountiful i guess the long-term rewards of enjoying what you do and having a good internal equanimity and mental wellness is probably a lot more satistfying :)
2) pick up 2 other languages
this was inspired by my inquisitiveness towards english i guess.
it would honestly be really amazing if you could hear me converse in a foreign language by the time i turn 25.
i mean, what harm would there be to pick up a new language?
really want to learn korean (thank running man), but i have yet to think about the other language that i want to master.
german and french could be likely possibilities because i've learnt a teeny bit about their language when studying history back in secondary school, but it's quite fascinating, especially the funny dots and lines that come along with the conventional alphabet!
hopefully i get into linguistics in uni (i pray so hard i do) and maybe i'll discover what i really really want to learn!!!!! :-)
3) start a food funding programme for needy children
i think this picture really struck me because of the numerous hands that are extended in fervent and desperate hopes of feeding their hungry stomachs.
a photograph of countless bare hands stretched out that clearly translates into the number of empty stomachs there are to satisfy.
singapore is such a blessed country with barely anything to worry about besides secondary issues of homework and stress levels.
the difference is that we worry about not being able to get what we WANT to eat, while they worry about not being able to get what they NEED.
i believe it won't hurt to fork out a little bit of my salary every week to fund a child a meal.
such a cliche project that's started by countless individuals and philanthropists out there, but i guess the feeling's different when you yourself really play a part by funding a meal for a kid.
won't say that i'd begin by reaching out to the kids living in the slums of india, but to start small, funding the needy children in singapore itself would be a positive beginning in itself.
as much as food is important to me, i strongly believe in the importance of adequate nutrition and that "3 meals a day" are the bare minimum for a child.
i think i'm kinda rubbing off jamie oliver and his meal plans for children hahahaha.
#teamjamie
4) pick up a weekly sport to keep fit and maintain an ideal weight
no i am not talking about the kinds that you play as mario and your opponent as bowser and you try in vain to burn calories by whacking around clumsily with a remote control.
i'm talking about the getting down to sweating on the court and stuff.
i actually really want to keep fit and it would be perfect to devote my sundays to playing a sport with some good old friends, just like how my dad plays badminton every thursday night and fusionball (a modified version of tennis for older folks) every sunday afternoon.
absolutely detest running so never will that happen (though i actually considered putting "accomplishing a 10km marathon under 1 hour" in this list of 5 things but obviously my lazy self retreated and even cringed at this ludicrous idea)
swimming sounds good but i'm really self-conscious of my body so no thanks.
considering badminton, golf or frisbee so yes my fellow sports-enthusiast friends please include me in some of your leisure games!!!! *raises hand really high with eagerness*
5) find someone who loves me more than i love him
yes this is in italics because i obviously cannot control this kind of prophetic fate.
was really inspired by this article on thoughtcatalog.
pretty fairytale-like and utopian but, i guess there is some truth in the words of the author.
it will be rare, so rare to find a guy who loves you more than you do to him.
i guess i am someone who's really committed when it comes to relationships with others be it platonic or romantic.
i like to believe that i give my all in every friendship i keep and nothing less when it comes to romantic relationships too.
so on my part i guess i won't shortchange him in any way because i know i will be there to keep the relationship alive!!!
i'll let the article do the talking and yes, off to sleep i go!!!
school tomorrow, exams in 3 days.
*insert all enervated facial expressions possible in this universe*
"Date a man who loves you more. Meet him young, at a time when you’re not old enough to realize how precious he is. Fall in love carelessly. Start to think he must be the one, begin building a life with him. Become entangled with his family and him with yours, believe he will be the father of your children in later years. Date a man who loves you more because he will love everything you hate about yourself. The man who loves you more will rub your feet when you’re tired and take your cousins out for ice cream because he is simply that kind of man. He will abandon his plans to come rub your back when you’re sick without you ever having to ask. The man who loves you more will allow you to grow as a person without taking space. He will be patient, kind; he will know when to apologize and when to be quiet. He will never yell. He will laugh at your jokes and find you beautiful, even at your worst. The man who loves you more will love you entirely, unconditionally; he will follow you anywhere and do anything for you.
As you grow with the man who loves you more, ignore the creeping sense of boredom. Ignore it because it is selfish, it is unbecoming, and you know you should be satisfied with this perfect man. Ignore it because you watch the women around you, your friends, your sisters, your co-workers, and you know they all long for the man you have. Ignore the melancholia and the longing you feel every time you watch a couple fight with passion, with anger, with fire. Count on your fingers the number of fights you’ve had over the years, and consider yourself lucky without really believing it. Ignore the nostalgia you feel for moments that have never existed. Ignore it because you know passion is fleeting, passion is mercurial; passion is not something you build a life on. Passion will not raise your kids, it will not pay your mortgage. When passion fades, you tell yourself, you are left with nothing but regret. Ignore the slow leak of emptiness filling your gut when you kiss him, because it does not belong in your life. It does not belong with this perfect man who loves you more. He is dependable and with him, you know you will lead a lifetime of contentment. You will travel with him, you will push him towards his goals. You will have wonderful memories and photo albums. You will celebrate milestones with pride, you will grow old holding his hand and raise balanced children with him. When your children fall in love, you will smile and hope they find someone who loves them more, because it will guarantee them the satisfied life you have led.
Do not date the other man because the other man will never give you the stability you know you need. Stay away from the other man because with him, you are unreliable. The other man will never be there for you with the same dependability you have come to expect. He will challenge you and push you to question everything you think you know about yourself. The other man will love you, he will love you in ways that make you abandon every certainty you have ever had, but he will not help you keep your balance. Just when you think you have figured that man out, he will disorient you, you will be winded, you will not be able to breathe. Date the man who loves you more because the other man will never need you. He will miss you when you’re gone, he will secretly be broken, but he will go on without you because he does not depend on anyone. This man is treacherous, you cannot trust yourself with him.
When things are good with this man, you will be euphoric. You will be the best version of yourself. You will look in the mirror and find you are beautiful. You will be the luckiest woman in the world, and you will believe it. You will tell him you love him and the words will explode out of your heart because it will be the first time you have ever encountered such irrevocable truth. He will say it back and mean it, and you will feel like you can never be close enough to him. You will lose yourself in him, and he will lose himself in you. Stay away from this man because your happiness will be fleeting. When things are bad with him, he will fight back. He will not be patient, he will not soothe you. The other man will be infuriating. He will be selfish, careless with his words and at times even cruel. He will try to inflict as much pain on you as he himself is feeling. He will not apologize and he will push you to your limits. With this man, you can expect the dizzying agony of passion, the blurred oblivion of apathy, the delicious comfort of despair, the addictive misery of loneliness. You will tell yourself that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, but in that moment of utter hopelessness, you will not believe it with absolute conviction.
Date a man who loves you more because while he can never be quite enough, the other man will always be too much. The other man will leave you thirsty for more, parched for him, panicked like a drunk who has finished his last bottle. Date that man who loves you more, fall for him in a slow and steady way, build a foundation with him and consider, truly consider, how lucky you are to have found him. Do all this, because with the other man, you will never know anything but a frenzied hunger and all-encompassing madness. With that man you will burn bright and fast, and you will be invincible until you are not. Find the man who loves you more and keep him because the worth of happiness cannot be measured in days and months and years, and those fleeting few memories of pure, unadulterated bliss will never measure up to the lifetime of contentment you will have with the man who loves you more. Tell yourself this over and over, let it become your mantra, and condition yourself to believe it. Forget the other man, or at least try to, ignore the smells, the sounds and the things that remind you of him, ignore the way he made you feel, because you are better off apart. Together you make the world explode, but you cannot survive in it after. Date the man who loves you more, choose him and never let him go, because you are wise enough to know that stories of true love never have a happy ending, and with this man at least you will die knowing someone loved you more.
"goodnight my fellow sweethearts, have a great week ahead xx
