Monday, June 23, 2014

the perks of solitude


recently been going out everyday, alone, to the library just to get work done.
really gotta get down to focusing on my work this holidays and i guess some sacrifices have to be made.
it was not entirely an easy decision for me to head out all on my own to concentrate on my work; it really took me so much willpower to do everything from waking up at 8am in the morning just to reach the library early to get a good seat, having lunch and dinner alone, gathering the guts to camp at starbucks this once, and basically just learning to be independent.
come on, i'm a 17-year-old, it's high time i ought to learn to do certain things in solitude or just learn to be alone.
and i've come to realize that it isn't such a bad idea after all.
i actually really enjoy studying alone because i get the quiet time to myself and i actually have the space, freedom and independence to do whatever i want.
kinda hate meeting people to study not because there is a risk of distractions, but more of the fact that because i am never punctual and then that guilt that follows straight after being late is just ....
i don't have to be tied down by time and seriously, it becomes an own-time-own-target kinda situation, which i like because i don't perform under pressure, at all. this lesson i have clearly learnt at o's.
being alone also means that i get the freedom to decide where i want to go and what i want to eat.
it sometimes is tiring to accommodate one another and really, being around with people would mean that your work efficiency would be cut by more than half. (tried and tested)
it's like that day (or rather many days) i've studied alone at bedok nlb, decided swiftly on lunch and returned to the library in 30 mins.
maybe the speed that i ate at was hastened too partly because i'm alone and sometimes your belongings being left unattended might not be entirely safe.
but still that is an evident plus point of mugging outside on my own.
also, i like to set out a list of things to do for that day and get it done no matter what, and sometimes it really irks me whenever i cannot finish that checklist because there will always be that one, last anal question on organic chemistry you just don't feel like doing or that damn math paper that you've attempted but left almost half of it blank (and you can't really consider it to be "done" because of the mountain load of blanks you've left)...
but now when i'm out alone i kinda always adhere to this timing of packing up at 4pm.
packing up at 4pm means that gives me a buffer time of 1 hour to go wherever i want to and do whatever i want.
last i checked, i went to walk around bedok mall and grabbed some clothes and i also borrowed a couple of books from the library since i didn't really want to head home that early (well that's an absolute first for me).
once i get home i'd stick to my usual daily pilates routine and then go for a 30-min jog around my neighbourhood! :-)
it sounds like a really ideal plan and i hope that i can stick to this for the week ahead.
we're down to the final week of the one-month break and once school starts, shit is going to get real.
really real.
going to make the very best out of this one week and catch up with whatever that i've lost midway.
it's might not be an easy battle but i know i will fight my hardest.
in the end it all boils down to you, alone, and how well you will tackle this common enemy of ours.
so i guess it's baby steps towards solitude, and just learning to do shit alone.
by the way i am not trying to blow my trumpet about this being some super effective, foolproof "schedule" of mine and that you'll think with this "motivation" of mine i am going to be so driven forward and "definitely going to produce some standard of results".
no i did not intentionally create this kind of expectation of me that you might start to have, because all i know is that this new routine is helping me so much more.
not in terms of academics because i cannot guarantee straight a's because i am obviously lacking in some capacity of intelligence, but the fact that i am becoming a happier person.
i guess i've found the way to get work done without becoming stressed or pressured by the fact that the content is immense.
i'm making time for life and the things i like to do (i.e. watching running man every night and fangirling because kwangsoo hehehe).
i'm pretty sure there is more to life than mere studying, so just don't think too much, and everything will turn out fine. xx
keep going guys we're all in this together ;-)