hello

just dropping by for a quick update!!!
hello hello to my little blog whom i haven't seen in a month plus again.
don't worry i didn't forget about you.

don't really have much to tell you guys about actually.
been really preoccupied with work most of the time so life is pretty mundane.
did i mention before that i really like my job rn because i get to do something i enjoy?
so yes i'm currently intern-ing at a small web design/e-commerce company and hopefully i'll move on to part-timing at an (increased) hourly rate...
really like my job but if the pay persists i guess i'm just gonna call it quits.

so yeah there's honestly nothing really nice to talk about my life rn except for the fact that i'm working...
oh yes and may is the month to look forward to because korea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so damn excited omg.

and guess what i've become hooked onto exo.
do kyungsoo is bae.
yes ok bye.

this was a completely rubbish post.

quick update

75% done with a's and hence i'm back for a quick while.

i'll try to keep this short.

i don't know why but i feel like i've been thinking a lot recently.

despite a's being my biggest priority now, when darkness falls and it's past midnight, that's when the weird thoughts start creeping in.

i've always been a night-person, i love staying up late.

be it to talk to others, to play games or to watch shows (studying is an exception), night time is always the best.

so recently i found a quote on twitter that said:
"you have to find the right distance between people. too close, and they overwhelm you, too far and they abandon you."
many people have said that i'm a "sociable" person, that i have a really wide social circle and i have many good friends.

to be honest i personally feel otherwise.

honestly, i'm not the nicest kind of person you'd first meet because i always give off this bloody long fml face. 

neither am i a social butterfly who says hi to the people i kinda know but then again don't know.

but i would seek comfort in the fact that i have quite a few close friends whom i am entirely comfortable with.

however i don't know how long these friendships will last, because from past experience, i'm never good with sustaining relationships with others.

not that i don't want to, and in fact i really want to develop long-term relations, but sometimes i just don't know how to go about doing it.

not that i am doubting my friends as individuals but sometimes i feel i can't handle things well enough for a long-term friendship to develop.

coming to jc made me realize what a bitch i am actually. 

how is it that my friendships with guys and girls fail to turn out nicely in the end?

does the fault lie with me?

i don't know but sometimes i really doubt myself.

and i hate it that sometimes my impulses get the better of me.

just when i thought things became better, there are just some things about a person that will never change huh?

control, jamie, control.