beyond blessed

this week was probably one of the best ones of the year.
yeah because it was my birthday!
well, not because i expected a truck-load of wishes and presents from everyone, but because after the day i turned seventeen, i realised how truly, truly blessed i am.
maybe you could say that whatever happened on my birthday really made up for this whole entire year.
this week honestly made my day (alongside with other things that has happened too!) :)

so yes i turned seventeen last tuesday, 22nd october!
#FINALLYSEVENTEEN
indeed i have received much gifts and cards (and especially cakes), but what i have actually received aren't just the superficial gifts alone, they are the love and care that go way beyond the physical present itself.
i don't even know where i should begin because i am honestly so touched hahahaha.

hmmm instead of blogging in the usual chronological order, i shall do a series of thank-yous for various groups of people :-)

#1 my class clique

yes these are the lovely bunch of girls who bought me the cool attention-seeking happy birthday helium balloon (and a decoy one to totally fool me about it), 2 twelve cupcakes and the sweetest letters/cards ever.
i might not have been all that surprised because i know you guys love me a lot and will do something for me *inserts my whole ego here* okay kidding hahaha!
but yeah, it does not mean that i am any less grateful. :-)
do you know how touched i was by your letters?
yes, to jennee, thank you for making the coolest card i have ever seen in my whole entire life. (till now i'm still figuring out how many papers it took you...)
and the words and pictures in it are really so heartwarming :')
when i read what you wrote i couldn't help but go "awww i love you too".
thank you so much for the pair of sky blue converse sneakers, they are really really pretty and i like it very much.
thank you baby :-)
and vanessa, your letter was indeed very touching.
i was really on the verge of tears because whatever advice you penned down for me was really so relevant to me.
besides the advice, i am really grateful for you because i know you will always have my back :')
"screw the haters, love the fans (like you)" - yes vanessa thank you sooo much it was honestly such a simple but beautiful letter!
and maria, the few words you've written i am grateful for.
i really am heartened by that one line you wrote, about my values.
thank you for being one of my longest but most loyal friend to me and i am really going to miss you next year, a lot.
miss you mama maria :')
and mavis, thank you for the effort you've put in to wanting to bake totoro cupcakes for me!!!
though it might not have succeeded, thanks for trying your best and i know you have the heart :')

#2 guitar exco

to my second closest bunch of friends in college, thank you for the birthday surprise and a slice of strawberry shortcake/cheesecake!
i was honestly very very shocked at how fast you guys came down to sing a birthday song for me after xiaohui/jasley called you all!!
thank you guys for the prompt response ahhh you guys really made me happy!
and guess what hahaha they threw me into the deyuan omggg!
see instagram for embarrassing full video :'(
and yes this was me after barely making it back onto dry land.
sorry it's a bit dark hahah i guess 'cos it was under natural lighting...

and yes this is the wet exco photo.

oh goodness you all ahhhh hahahaha!
and below are a few more post-dunk photos :P

thanks jasley for the really cute card filled with kwangsoo-popups and also my unglams omg hahahaha!!

^ oops the natural light again hahaha sorry!
and thanks gary for appearing in the photos even as much as you hate taking pics hahahaha!

anyway yeah thank you to the exco who made my birthday so extraordinary because i guess this will be the first and last time i will ever be thrown into the deyuan! (my birthday falls on deepavali next year, i checked HAHAHAHA)
and next year i guess we'd all be busy preparing for a levels,  so yes, i am very thankful you guys made my birthday this year a really special one despite the fact that you guys aren't the ones i spend the most time with :)
so thank you exco and here's to the greater times and louder laughters in the future :')
thank you srge exco '13-'14 love you all!

#3 pl-sr gang

to these girls whom i have been together for four years plus another two, thank you for the birthday surprise with a slice of strawberry shortcake/cheesecake!!! (yes until now i have no idea which group gave me which but anyway xiaohui said it doesn't matter)
thank you for actually organising the whole celebration (though it was short) and i'm grateful that i have these familiar faces around in school to make me feel less afraid when i'm in sr :-)
though we don't see each other often, i hope that being the feeling of attachment to pl would still hold us strongly together :-)

#4 cool peeps

to the three other girls that have been my close friends for almost five years now, thank you for having dinner with me, giving me a clique pen and stickers and socks, writing me the sweetest and most most most touching cards ever and buying me a cake from the icing room to celebrate my birthday!!! :)

kudos to stacy and yx's (not really) decorating skills omg it was such a pretty cake, thanks guys :')
we had hot tomato for dinner and talked over tasty cake and hearty laughters up at the sky garden of nex!
finally got to meet up with them for dinner after ages!
thank you guys for your shared presents and cake, and of course the best cards that each of you have written for me :')
sheryl, as much as your handwriting screws up the card (always), i still love you very very much.
another card filled with the best advice from the best friend :')
i swear you never change, the random magazine cut-outs of fruits and veggies are so retarded but yeah that's you :P
for the first time you actually wrote me such a long card aww i'm touched :')
thank you boob~
stacy, your sad letter honestly made my eyes well up with tears.
fatty, maybe that could really be the sad truth, but let me assure you that you will always have me to talk to 24/7 :')
we can always get together to prepare for a's!
yes our meet-ups maybe short and rare, but i cherish them so much and i feel that whatever we've been through together will never be erased this easily :')
so have faith fats thank you for the sweet letter i love you!
yingxia, the girl who wrote me a card on 1 square paper from paper market without decorating much because i know she thinks the paper is fanciful enough due to the price hahahaha!
another long, touching letter from you and seeing you express everything you want to say to me in a simple yet concise manner really makes me feel that you've grown up :')
whatever you've said in the letter really makes me feel like tearing up everytime i go back to read it.
and don't worry about promotion i'm sure you'll do fine :')
love you yingxia i hope to see you soon again!

yes so that pretty much sums up my seventeenth.
and this is not all; the gratitude i have is simply too deep to be put into words (or maybe because i can't)
and it is not about the presents i've got, but the love the people around me have shown towards me. :-)
feeling beyond blessed on this very special day.
so thank you to everyone else who has made it so memorable for me!

on a side note, thank you to ion orchard for selecting my instagram entry of the #ionfashionconcert!!!
thought it was a scam but i guess not!
can't wait for my autographed crazy world album and my poster to arrive!
thank you ion you just made my day even brighter :')

i'll blog about commendation day soon ok?
till then! :)

it's the little things in life that matter

so on 18th october i actually went to catch boys like girls at ion for free!

no regrets i tell you.

it was probably one of the best nights ever, and for a free concert, this was really amazing!

their entrance was rather delayed but i bet it was on purpose to make us watch the stupid fashion show hahaha.

at 7.30pm the models were parading around in their weirdass animal fluff coats and it was soooo boring :(

then they took forever to set up too hahaha excited fans like me were soooo damn anxious!!!

when they finally came on at about 8.15pm (?), martin started with a few lines from 'be your everything'.

"i'll be your shelter,

i'll be your storm,

i'll make you shiver,

i'll keep you warm."

ahhhhhhhhh his voice was so soothing to the ears omg.

they performed many other hit songs like thunder, she's got a boyfriend now, stuck in the middle (i was really surprised they sang this because this song wasn't as publicized as the rest), heels over head, the first time and the great escape as the finale!!!!

i was honestly so hyped and i kept singing along sooo loudly while recording their performance, and some asses turned back to stare at me...

i don't get it wtf.

isn't a concert supposed to be about singing along and jumping around being hyper because your favourite band is performing?

ugh if you don't know how to appreciate their music then scram, and let others who really like them move forward to get a better view right kns... 

nonetheless i had a great time with xiaohui, huixian and david singing to boys like girls!

it would have been great if the speakers were louder too 'cos we were quite far behind and couldn't really hear the songs very clearly...

but i had a good view of things still and yes finally saw them live!!! :)

28 feb 2010 - backstreet boys live
15 jan 2012 - simple plan live
18 oct 2013 - boys like girls live

i can die a happy girl now :')

to sum up 19th october, saturday

had a wonderful time at the pl funfair 2013!

got to see old friends whom i haven't met in a long time :-)

but it was such a pity that none of my clique people went :(

why is everybody so busy these days sigh...

anyway i'm glad to have met up with a few other classmates and also my dearest moose and doob :-)

and to have seen ms wong after such a long time; sad to here that it will be her last year in PL after so many years of teaching...

we're going to miss you ms wong, thank you for being there for a3 all the time!!!

ate some food and drank a few drinks, watched people get dunked, took a photo by the photobooth and bought a tank top for $3 from mrs ong hahaha!

well all in for the fundraising effort ;-) 

#hahahaexcusestoshop

after the funfair xiaohui and i decided to head down to esplanade to meet nigel for lunch!

tried the soup spoon for the very first time!!!

i must say that for $11.90, this is a very value-for-money meal!

thumbs up for the fact that it was a really filling meal, and that they've got a whole variety of appetizer-to-dessert kinda thing. (soup and bread for a start, sandwich or salad for the main and a friand or drink for dessert)

thumbs down for the overly huge portion of soup, because it was REALLY too much and after awhile you just get kinda sick of the same soup you're drinking.

but nonetheless i'd give it a 8.5 out of 10.

just a word of caution to only have this when you're super duper hungry!

if not you'll never be able to finish this hahaha!

walked around basement 1's cocoa trees and the marketplace with nigel and xiaohui while awaiting responses for our impromptu exco dinner!

then when i decided to go the toilet nigel chose to leave -_-

aish he...

so it was down to xiaohui and i who were waiting for wanrou to come!

at nbc we found these cute little jukeboxes with music and we found a harry potter's theme jukebox!

xiaohui decided to record it for nigel to make him feel better but then her phone died....

so much for trying to liven nigel up hahahaha.

window-shopped at monoyono and then on to our favourite shop, paper market!!!!

we spent almost like one and a half hours here.

it was here that gary and freda decided to come down to raffles city too :-)

yayyy the more the merrier!

i bought a sheet of stickers and a set of alphabet stamps and xiaohui a bridal shower stamp hahaha!

after the three of them came, we wanted to eat marche but meh it was the movenpick/bar version so no :(

decided to eat menya musashi, a ramen store!

ate this with xiaohui and my this was damn good!!!!

thumbs up for the very refreshing taste, like something you've never tried before, a soba-style ramen.

thumbs down because it gradually got really salty - it was really so salty i can't even...

i would give it a 7 out of 10.

over dinner we talked about the usual stuff and pestered gary as usual hahaha!

after dinner before we boarded the train we actually took a group picture again :'D

it's like some ritual of ours to take group pictures (esp. with gary) whenever we go out hahah.

over the past 2 days my feet were really overworked, but really everything was worth it, for the good food, good company and good happenings :')

exco appreciation post

yeah so this goes out to the exco!

okay we need to take a full picture soon because not everybody's in there!

but yeah it has only been a journey of 4... 5... 6 months together?

and yes it has been very fulfilling.

though we started out as strangers i'm glad we got to know one another better in recent times.

and yes we are not all together THAT close yet but i can certainly say i feel at ease with you guys.

we each have our unique roles; xiaohui is our mother who is firm yet always understands, nigel is the life of the exco with occasional pms-es, jasley is the keep-calm-and-carry-on one, wanrou is the super fierce money-collector (omg like really fierce), freda is the easygoing, super-easy-to-talk-to one, david the crazy, randomly, self-excited pub head, huixian the very serious one (from what i see hahaha always seriously taking attendance hehehe), joelyn is like our wise advisor, sean who is never present, and gary the one we all love to tease/play with.

thank you exco for the current good times and the better ones to come :')

i'm sure that we can bring srge to greater heights together as one!

i really really really appreciate each and every one of you and honestly you guys taught me that my job is not just simply a job, but in fact a blessing to be able to love others.

thank you srge exco '13-'14 :)

truly thankful for you all~

you guys are the reason why i look forward to cca each time :)

here's to future laughters, tears, celebrations, trials and awesomeness with you all the rest of the ensemble!

xoxoxo

ok sorry i gotta end here because my laptop is dying.

ten likes & dislikes

an attempt at another blog challenge post hahaha.
it was something similar to the previous 10 facts about me post but i thought this could be more to-the-point and defined.
pardon my stale brain that is absolutely lacking in creativity because i am getting old.
17 more days ;)

what i like

1) pretty floral dresses

yes i have something for floral prints idk why hehehe.

they're so pretty and sweet at the same time!!

but too bad i can't wear any of the above because i have no figure. 

fat tummy fat thighs, wear what dress?!

sigh what a sad life.

maybe i shall lose weight before we even talk about floral dresses :(

2) people with cute smiles and deep dimples

yikes this baby is too cute!!!!

but yeah seeing people (guys) who have cute smiles and deep dimples makes me happy!

it's like they're so happy, it makes you happy too.

this contagion. hahaha!

seeing cute, genuine smiles on people's faces makes my heart melt/warm a little too :-)

such happy cutie pies heehee.

3) bread

if there was only one thing i could choose to feed on for the rest of my life it would be bread and by now most of you would have known this hahahaha.

bread is such a wondrous creation.

i have ever (and maybe still am) fantasized about marrying a baker solely for the fact that he can bake good bread.

imagine living by a cottage bakery and waking up to the delightful smells of freshly-baked bread.

oh and did i mention i like my bread plain hehe!

minimal spreads like butter and jam is the furthest i'd go!

very much prefer sweet breads to savoury ones though.

4) the subject english

the english language has always fascinated me since young.

the sheer array of words in the dictionary is so cool!

like, how did these people come up with a word for that?

call me a nerd, but i ever attempted to read the dictionary before, and i clearly remember myself copying out the words i have never stumbled upon into a notebook.

i remember stopping somewhere slightly halfway through the letter a?

and yes gp is my favourite subject at school although i clearly dislike comprehensions and essays a lot.

i am particular with my grammar and i take pride in my vocabulary.

not that i know the whole dictionary of flowery vocabulary but yup, you get my point.

i like english :)

a lot.

5) iphone camera apps

yes my iphone camera apps are my bundles of joy hahaha.

i enjoy taking pictures, editing them with almost 1001 apps before uploading them onto instagram.

i love vscocam for the very pretty (but mainstream) filters and fade function, i love phototreats for its user-friendliness of the app (you just swipe through various categories of filters and there's minimal lag time), i love camera360 for the SUPER wide range of filters to choose from, i love picsart because it allows me to add overlays wheee and i love photowonder because it removes my facial blemishes teehee.

trying to summarise why i like my camera apps because if not i am going to sound like an app store critic hahaha.

but yes i like iphone camera apps hehe which is one reason why i won't change to android!!! #teamapple

6) mario and gang

yahoooo i'm a huge fan of the series of mario games!!!

not that i've played a lot of the classic ones because i don't have the chance to, but the present-day games are so cute and adventurous!

i honestly think mario party is the best game of all haha the mini-games and roulette games are sooo cute!

mario kart's awesome hehehe challenge me to a game soon anybody? i'm itching for a good challenge hehehehe i am a (self-proclaimed) mario kart champion :P

super paper mario is quite a cool game too!

but i've yet to try much because i just couldn't get pass this level on the wii...

super mario bros. is cute but challenging hmmph but the various maps are just too adorable hehehe.

7) people who can express themselves well

that was what i got when i googled "expressive" into the images search engine.

anyway i've always envied people who could express themselves, especially in written words.

people who can write beautifully are worthy of my admiration because i can never be able to do that.

it does take some skill to write THIS well i guess, and i wish i could learn how too.

so i should go and read thoughtcatalog as recommended by patty! :)

8) songs with good lyrics and a heavy drum beat

yes, to me, a good song is defined by a heavily consistent drum beat especially. 

of course the lyrics must be good, but i kinda noticed that i develop a liking towards songs that have loud drum beats :)

periodically favourite songs of mine were thnks fr th mmrs by fall out boy, three perfect days by before you exit, be your everything by boys like girls (but this just had a very heavy electric guitar feel i think), straight through my heart by backstreet boys etc. etc.

but yeah you get my point.

most of the songs in my itunes library have *boom da boom* coolass drum beats ;)

9) making new friends (but i'm shy)

yeah making new friends really does feel good!

i like meeting (nice) new people but the thing is that i'm so shy hahahaha.

seriously, i don't open up to people easily (especially now after all shit that has happened) and it takes me very long to get used to someone that i can be comfortable around with.

it's quite a thrill to make new friends though, especially when you find someone nice, it's like a treasure :-)

I'M NICE TOO KAY HAHAHAHA.

though i am an unfriendly bitch who doesn't say hi to people first...

what a bad habit of mine that i just cannot get rid of, sorry..

but i'm trying!! :)

10) white rooms

i think this would be the theme for my future house!

i have a thing for white rooms because i think they make you feel so serene and comfortable, so, at home.

feels like heaven to me hehe.

so pleasing to the eyes :-)

what i dislike

1) overly picky people (especially about food)

(there is no picture on google that can accurately fit this description of what i wanna say)

i actually typed overly "particular" people, but i figured that was kinda me, so yes obviously i do not dislike myself, and the more appropriate word would be 'picky'.

no seriously i don't like how people are overly picky about their food.

i mean it is normal for people to have their likes and dislikes but those that throw tantrums when something doesn't taste as 'good'.

putting everything in inverted commas here to be safe because the boundaries are just too subjective.

can't you just eat whatever that's given to you oh my god.

haha maybe because i have poor tastes and to me there is no good or bad chicken rice because they're all just chicken rice.

that's why i don't understand why you need to queue for food, i don't see a need to.

if you can't get that famous chicken rice then just jolly well go to another nearby place to by la why insist on queuing 30mins just for mediocre food.

eat la aiyo.

can eat happy already la why must be so picky about food when other people out there in the world are starving?

2) the sound when your fingers rub against ceramic tiles

(okay again google images is failing me)

I SWEAR I HATE THE SOUND WHEN (DRY) FINGERS RUB AGAINST LIKE BATHROOM CERAMIC TILES.

IT IS SO DAMN IRRITATING OMG I FEEL SO UNCOMFORTABLE FROM HEAD TO TOE.

SUCH A NUISANCE I SWEAR.

it's not as bad when your fingers are wet and you rub against the walls 'cos there's less friction and thus no sound.

but omg i hate squeaky sounds like sport shoes rubbing against the floor too ewwww.

3) banters, even those that carry a joking connotation

(okay i apologise for the lack of photos in my dislikes, i guess what i hate is too specific for google to even churn out a picture for me hahaha)

haha i don't like it when people quarrel :(

it makes me sad hahaha because i don't know whether they're joking or not.

i'm such a softie srsly, can't even take jokes when quarreling aish.

but yes, when people bark at each other and raise their voices i feel uncomfortable :P

because i don't like to see people arguing and falling out after that.

it saddens me to see such stuff happen...

this is probably why i don't ever pick a quarrel with anyone (jokingly) because i'm afraid to offend and also because i suck at arguing and i will always lose.

don't quarrel guys ok world peace hehehe.

4) roller-coasters

yes i am damn scared of coasters hahaha.

i am not a fan of adventures so yes i am absolutely afraid of thrilling rides such as these.

the very first time i sat on a proper coaster was last year at uss on the human cylon ride thing oh my god that thing was seriously going to give me a heart attack then.

when the whole coaster flipped 360 degrees i felt like i was going to die of discomfort/from flying off the coaster...

i closed my eyes and screamed the whole time until i had tears in my eyes after the whole ride hahhaa and i vowed never to ride it again.

i swear i am such a boring girl who hates movies and coasters.

so to my future boyfriend i'm sorry i'd very much prefer a stay-home cook-your-own-dinner kinda thing ahahahaha.

5) hot coffee (i like them cold only)

oh bring that cup of coffee far away from me!!! :(

i hate the smell from hot coffee omg it's stinks like hell.

hot coffee gives off this pungent stench that reminds me of freaking aeroplanes...

and i have a phobia of aeroplanes ok i shall explain that in my next dislike!

BUT YES I HATE HOT COFFEE SMELLS YES YES YES.

starbucks is awesome when cold. ;-)

6) aeroplanes

if i could have the luxury of sleeping so comfortably like this in a plane i obviously would.

i hate sitting aeroplanes because i think i have airborne sickness or some shit like that.

i hate long plane rides because the air in the plane is so stale and the place is so bumpy ew.

had a bad experience when i was 5/6 years old and after i got off the plane i puked right away at the landing area.

and i remember i was headed to japan...

but i guess i'm okay with plane rides if i just close my eyes, listen to some music and pop in a candy or two :-)

so yes i'm pretty stoked about nov's nepal trip though i'm A BIT worried about the plane ride hahaha!

but if i survived the 8-hour flight to aussie i should survive a shorter one right? :-)

yes yes i will!

7) the sight of construction ongoing

just looking at numerous barricades and cranes doing all that constructing kinda puts me off.

especially in singapore, where there is so many roads undergoing reconstruction and all the messy redirected temporary roads we have been forced to take irritates me.

i just don't like the sight of seeing all that cordoning-off everywhere..

8) the television

i am not a fan of the teevee.

okay not that i hate the gadget itself but more of me disliking watching tv.

i think tv shows are boring.

i have no idea why maybe because i haven't came across a show worth my time.

personally it is very difficult for me to get used to doing something, especially because of the first step.

the first step to trying out a new drama is a challenging one for me and i don't like the first few episodes of starting a drama because it takes me forever to figure out what the heck is going on.

so yeah not a big fan of television programmes.

9) excessive piercings and tattoos

sorry no image for this though because i can't stand the sight of people with an excessive number of piercings and tattoos.

especially on a guy i think it's even worse.

i mean like... why?!

why do you wanna do this kinda thing to yourself.

so painful and it's not even nice.

10) almonds

anything that has almonds in it or is almond-flavoured is DISGUSTING.

i know it's supposedly good for your skin or some shit like that but no.

i remember drinking cod's liver oil when i was young and i think it had some almond essence to it and i puked everything out straightaway.

soooo disgusting omg.

i don't really like nuts but almonds have got to be the worst.

there are my 10 likes and dislikes for you :-)

will embark on another blog challenge soon! :)

do you think i would be this dumb to fight back?

obviously not.

would i stupidly put myself in such a precarious position that all would be lost if any shit goes wrong?

sometimes i really am pushed beyond my limit ok.

if my hard work doesn't pay off then screw it.

i don't get why the hell you are so prejudiced against me.

if you hate me tell me in the face, don't curse me behind my back.

that's just plain bitchy and childish.

i am so damn bloody angst now.

screw you.

by the way if you are reading this and you think it's you, then well, wear the shoe if it fits you then.

9 months

we are 4 days away from the month of October.
it scares me to see how time has flown so quickly over the course of this year.
how come 2013 is less than a 100 days away?
i guess for this past 9 months, i have really learnt quite a lot.

2013 was indeed the year of change, which took me hell long to get used to.
like i've mentioned before i hate change.
it is my worst enemy in life because i just simply hate the fact that i have to step out of my comfort zone to do things that i am absolutely uncomfortable with.
since promos are about 80% over, i finally have the time to sit down and think about what i have done for the past 9 months.
i guess everything that's happened over this time really got me thinking hard.

sometimes i don't know whether i am too nice a person or not.
i feel like i am too much of a giver, and it freaking pisses me off how i hate it when my niceness offends people.
it's not that i'm being all narcissistic here but wtf, i get really sick when shit happens.
am i just too nice to people?
why do i always end up screwing things upside down inside out and from others' perspective i guess it kinda looks like my fault?!
to think that i used to anticipate coming to college because i believed it would help me escape from all the childish bitchy fights that used to happen in secondary school.
but i was proven wrong right away in my first year in college.
so much shit has happened in less than a year, and i honestly don't know what the hell went wrong.
sometimes i really think i deserve better.
i deserve better things.
truth be told, i guess that after these 9 months all that feeling of whole happiness was just a facade.
i shan't hide the truth anymore.
to be honest, i can't help but feel even more empty than i felt in secondary school.
i feel even more lonely than i was before.
i feel even more uncertain of everything that is happening around me.
you may say that i lack trust/faith, but i guess too much shit's got to my head i can't even think straight now.
i guess if there was one thing i could wish for right now, i would really yearn for someone who could really listen to me here in college.
i think i have become even more reclusive than i used to be, which i guess is bad because i hardly open up anymore.
i never really try to depend on others for anything anymore simply because i don't want to be a burden to anybody.
i can say surely that i have grown less attached to friends because that feeling when things end; when change steps into your life again, that feeling of departure and distance is something too much for me to take.
so i guess i learnt this the hard way - being overly attached is seriously painful.
well i wish i could have a listening ear to lean on whenever life gets me down.
my old friends are too busy catching up with life and everything, they obviously won't have time for me.
argh again my thoughts aren't expressed sequentially but rather it is arranged in order of whatever comes to my mind first.
i really don't know what else i can find solace in.
sometimes i feel that life gets too tiring i don't even know where i can turn to.

why is life such a bitch? why are you such a bitch?
when you are too nice, shit happens. when you are too mean, shit still happens.
so wtf do you want me to be?
i hate it when people take my kindness for my weakness.
yes i may not be the best person who can retaliate or reject but why do people like to take things for granted?
really, the thought of all shit just makes me so damn angry inside.
i obviously do not want to ignite the sparks of these remnants but i can't help but feel indignant at everything that was said.
k you know what, forget it.
i'm not going to bring up the past because it is absolutely unnecessary and irrelevant right now.

getting a bit lazy to blog already so i guess i will just end here.
i'll let the pictures do the talking because tumblr has amazing photos that can really express my thoughts well.
so here goes.

k end of raging.

bye.

as much as i want to cry right now i wish i could really find my nintendo ds charger because i want to play my ds so bad...

oh well.

back to reality and back to my music that i love. :)

this is my happy pill :')

just this close.

we are just slightly more than 24 hours to the start of the promo exams.
how did time pass this quickly seriously?!
well, obviously if i could turn back time i would have seized the days to study even better.
but which student can say that they are 100% prepared the day before the exams?

spammed nothing but bio today.
this is probably my weakest subject and to be honest i kinda regret taking it.
h2 bio is hell i swear.
the details and the legions of new facts i have to remember every damn lecture is no joke.
are you sure i didn't take rocket science or something?
so today i tried my best to understand viruses and bacteria especially.
though it took me quite awhile i'm glad i finally understand most of the lectures now :-)
but since i've already made the choice to take h2 bio, i can't back out at this point in time right?
so even if i fare poorly for bio again this time round, i wouldn't feel guilty because i know i've tried.
i have finally understood some blurred concepts i had since mid-years and also did try & help myself by organizing my notes better.
so yeah, as much as i'm worried for bio, i know i have tried and thus there shall be no regrets :-)

well well well.
the gp papers fall on the same day as bio paper 2 too.
haven't exactly started memorizing my examples for gp....
but i hope what i've done in tuition progressively helps!

okay it's getting late i should get to bed soon.

anyway, as the promos are drawing nearer, i still feel unduly worried for some reason ahahahaha.
good job.
not that i have mastered every single bits of shit in every subject but i daresay that i have been doing something each day for the month of september at least.
okay this is an absolutely boring post meh but idc.

did i mention i fell in love with before you exit today and how cute this band of brothers is? :)))
i shall blog about them soon!
in the meantime, farewell for now! :)

10 fun facts about myself

let's hope i can finish this blog entry before 1.45am...
targeting to sleep by then hmm.
decided to blog because i got all frustrated with math (vectors) and promos preparation and whatnot.
time to seek comfort in blogging 10 facts about myself! (reduced from 15 because promos is coming oops and i need to study)
trying to find more new stuff about myself that could prove to be somewhat intriguing...
sorry i couldn't resist taking a sneak peek at my list of "post-promos daily blog challenges" ;)
so i shall embark on one today.
let's begin!

1) I am a boring person (on the outside).

no kidding bro. i'm being totally serious right here. it's like everyone does have a favourite drama they are bound to be catching up on every weekend, or like a strong interest in a certain something like catching action movies, or a favourite actor because he is that hot with the six-pack and exploding biceps. me? nah i have none of the above listed. i am honestly a boring girl with a boring life. no wait. let me take that back. i am a boring girl, but i don't lead a boring life! well, i don't exactly find interest in watching tv shows or movies unless i am asked to (ok i mentioned this on my instagram). i don't find ANY celebrity really eye-catching or worth my attention. i don't like getting on roller coasters. i don't like adventure. meh. okay this is starting to become 100 sub-facts about myself under 15 facts oops. but yeah anyway i am a boring person. i don't laugh at hilarious scenes... yeah it's just hard to bring out the laughter in me. i guess probably because i have a different sense of humour and can't really appreciate what's ongoing on screen. but i guess when you get to know me better, i am not a boring person at all (i hope). truth is, i genuinely enjoy talking. i love talking to people. i love making new friends but i suck at it. i like to see people laugh at what i say, it just gives me this great sense of satisfaction and i feel happy inside, too. i am obviously not the most friendly face around because people say i carry this black face everywhere i go... sorry if i come across as an unfriendly bitch of some sort. but honestly i enjoy meeting new people, it's a great experience. and when that time comes, trust me, i am not a boring person ;)

2) When I am unhappy over text, I tend to spam punctuation marks (... especially) or either that I end my sentences with a single full-stop.

yup that's what i noticed recently. when i get upset/angry/disappointed, my text lingo shows it. i use many many short forms and i suddenly use appropriate punctuations such as the full-stop at the end of every whatsapp message. that's just me i guess? i don't know. i guess this kinda shows how easily run i am by my emotions. my emotions take control of me, and it's hard the other way round. sigh guess i gotta learn. hmm. well ok this is a pretty boring fact, just fyi.

3) I am a sexist when it comes to music.

yeah i guess everyone knows this by now. female artistes are a complete turn-off to me, really. the only female singer i can actually appreciate is katy perry, avril lavigne and occasionally taylor swift. can't appreciate demi lovato, paramore, little mix and whatnot. my list of "anti-female artistes" goes on. it's not that i'm being a cynical little bimbo here but i really hate the way ladies sound on audio. my ears just aren't receptive at all to them. i've always felt guys made better singers than girls because personally i feel they have much stronger vocals and can reach a wider range of notes (more pleasantly too). maybe because we've also come across multiple female artistes who can't sing live. have you heard of any guy who is merely a pretty face who can't sing live? hmm not that i have, or not that i choose to agree hahaha. so yes i am a complete boyband (fan)girl! well, not vocalist groups like one direction... hmm i used to adore them until they kinda changed recently... it's quite scary how they grew so much. the boybands i frequently listen to are simple plan, boys like girls, backstreet boys, we the kings, fall out boy, before you exit, the all-american rejects, all time low... yes this is in order of frequency and how much i love them ;)

4) I cry a lot.

(used a pikachu gif twice... sorry not sorry)

think my eyes aren't even eyes, they're water taps. i cry way too easily - it's bad. i tear over the slightest things regardless of my emotion. be it the fact that i'm overjoyed at some shit ok sorry can't think of examples off-hand, be it the fact that i am raging.... i cry. there's been a few times when i've just been so angry i've raged till i cried. ugh. made me feel like some wimp though hahaha. tears well up to when my parents always encourage me to just "do your best" or when they are really nice and loving to me :') i cry at commercials or even short video snippets. when the principal showed a 2-minute ah boys to men snippet (about the recruits receiving letters from their loved ones), i actually teared... so embarrassing omg. in secondary school when i couldn't take the stress from everything (esp. sec 2) i often went to the toilet alone to hide and cry in a cubicle. ugh i need to strengthen my emotional self because this can't keep going on. one day people are going to laugh at me. grow up, jamie, grow up. it's time to do away with the emotions.

5) I hold my character in high esteem and take such things seriously. (don't even try messing with me on these)

i absolutely hate it when someone doubts my character/the things i do. bloody hell. i take pride in being a morally good person and how dare you doubt my personal set of values?! gnd. actually the first and only time someone actually did that to me was this year in college. screw you and your prejudice. you DO NOT EVER call me a "terrible influence" to my friends because i have never been and you don't have the rights to anyway - only my parents can scold/discipline me. not you. so to whoever wants to doubt me of my morals please withhold. i can very firmly say that pl(pb) has moulded me into someone of fine character. so don't be surprised if i take what you say about my morals with offence. screw off.

6) I play the piano, but I'm not musically inclined or anything like that.

i guess the thing that i lack is passion, i don't really like to practice. i never ever practise my songs unless the exam date is drawing near, because i find that it is such a nuisance to be playing the same horrible line 20 times and probably irritating the shit out of your neighbours. meh. if i were rich enough i would build a soundproof room in my house just so that i can make all the noise i want with the piano and not get judged for what i want to play. sometimes i feel my pop songs annoy people (both my neighbours and parents hahaha) 'cos the chords are just so repetitive... hmm. but i like pop songs.

7) I hate being alone.

yes i hate it, and i guess the reason why is because i am very dependent on my friends, which is a hell of a bad thing. i enjoy company especially when i'm in school and i'd feel lonely/outcasted if i didn't have someone to talk to... the sensitive me returns lol. maybe because when i'm alone my thoughts run wild. but actually i enjoy being alone at home because i feel "free" in a sense... yupppp so friends please don't leave me roaming around in school alone T_T

8) I will never ever tell a guy I like him, first. (at least for now)

omg no way in the world will i ever confess my feelings to a guy first. no matter how much i "like" him it is way too embarrassing especially if he says no. plus i'm not exactly very pretty so obviously you can't have hopes too high right... anyway i think it's sweet for the guy to the chasing instead, it is SO weird for a girl to confess. and guys are more easygoing so if they face rejection they wouldn't take it too hard right... they'd probably get over it after a week while girls will just whine about it for the whole month maybe? hmmm this is a really random fact but i guess because it's my first year being in a mixed school after being in a girls' school for 10 years, just some random thoughts about it. and if you ask me whether i like any guy in school..... maybe...? ;)

9) I would consider myself as a gamer girl.

i think for a girl, i have quite a flair for games hahahahaha. truth be told i enjoy playing games more than watching television/shows/movies (duh look at point 1). as a kid i grew up playing with my cousins (guys majority) a lot, and i guess watching them play games has made me interested too. i would often play ps2 with my dad too, but sadly that childhood game console of mine died.... T_T i loved it so much though. ok so let me list some of the games i've played. they're pretty old school because i obviously don't have time for games right now. well i've played fps games like counter strike, sudden attack (is it? that asiasoft shooting game i played ONCE), silent scope (this was on ps2 and it was really fun!!!). i like fighting games too like tekken tag, little fighter 2 errrr k can't remember. love maplestory too (still playing to date during holidays hahaha), tried rakion (is it? the one with the blue and red things ok wtv). racing games like bomberman on ps2 (omg my ultimate fave), mario kart, ridge racer meh. grand theft auto, nba on ps2, pangya (THAT GOLFING GAME THAT CLOSED DOWN T_T), getamped, audition, pokemon (OMG I LOVE POKEMON IT IS MY CHILDHOOD)... did i mention i was a pro at counter strike when i was young? my cousin said before i was a whiz and could win all of 'em hahaha. not that i remember myself being the counter strike champ or what but hmm, that was a nice remark yay. i would have continued if not for the lack of time ah well. but the only game i will never appreciate is dota and warcraft i guess (ok wait i think they're the same thing). miss my ps2 console a lot sigh rest in peace my childhood. :( and yeah i would think that i catch onto games pretty well. like i learn the basics fast and i'm not too bad at them. take shotzombie for now for example hehehe my high score is worthy of mention okay (yes yes i take pride in my high scores), it's comparable to some guys' high score! ;) and yeah i used to play tiny tower very actively i think i had like 140 floors or some shit like that. but it's a cute game no doubt! yup so as you guys can see i am a pretty avid gamer :)

10) I hate milk chocolate.

yes it is disgusting. let me tell you the reason why i hate milk choc. like every child would, i loved nutella. i loved nutella so much that i ate it right out from the jar with a tablespoon. i think i could eat like half the jar in a day or something. yes i loved it that much. until one day my stomach decided that it had enough and out came everything from my mouth :/ i felt so sick that i actually missed a day of school. i used to hate tomatoes too because (yes don't judge me) i cut them up into cubes last time and ate it with soya sauce hahahahaha. tbh that combination was quite good. but no no i ate too much again and now the thought of both the tomatoes and sauce together and the nutella out of a jar just makes me cringe... so kids, lesson learnt, don't ever overeat something. don't let what you love become what you hate. don't let your best friend turn into your worst enemy.

yup so those are my 10 fun facts!
i just saw the post title and it says "fun" facts.
well i hope these were fun enough!
in the meantime it's time to work my ass off for promos!
see you soon!