it's not that i don't want to forget the bad things that have happened.
but honestly it's difficult and it takes time.
too bad i've got to bring up such a negative post about life because oh well, sometimes you can't keep blogging about the ups of life right?
it's never smooth-sailing.
so i will strip myself bare of self-denial today and let my words run free as they deserve to occasionally.
it might hurt, or seem accusatory, but if the shoe fits, then put it on.
well well.
it has been about 5 months or so since we've settled into college already.
time flies pretty fast, and everything else that has happened in PL seems to be in a fading distance away.
it's nice to reminisce about the past but sometimes your old, unhappy thoughts will return unfailingly as you do so.
the bad times, the bad happenings, the bad memories will slowly haunt you one by one.
you don't wish to remember them 'cos you've long moved on, but sometimes you will unknowingly flip back to your old chapters of life.
and that's what inspired me to tweet that ^ (above picture)
i strongly believe in my own words (LOL EGO) because in life you are bound to meet people who turn out to be shockingly unpleasant.
and it is sad that we all might hurt someone in one way or another.
but anyway, i've encountered several of such incidences, and this is for all you people out there who think you may have been forgotten cleanly already.
hell no, i will always remember what you've done to me.
people say to forgive and forget, but obviously this is only what the naive will do.
really?
you think life is going to be a bed of roses if you just forgive people and that the world will be a happier place?
well i don't blame the optimist in you but sometimes you gotta admit that the things people do unto you will somehow stay with you for life.
it's not the exact words someone might have said, nor is it the exact expressions the person showed towards you, but it's more of the rollercoaster of emotions you experience at that very point in time.
and that rollercoaster obviously consists of 90% anger lol.
ok that's besides the point.
i don't know if you would call me a person who bears grudges easily, but personally, i don't think i do, unless the impact someone has had on me is great.
sad to say i've been there and done that, couple of times.
so yeah, i don't exactly HATE anybody (oh well well she's living in denial you may say), but yes, i just want to tell everyone who's screwed me up (no sick thoughts please) in life - thanks for the memories.
be it good or bad, sweet or bitter, lovely or unpleasant, i thank you.
thank you for teaching me much in life that there is a bitch inside a person, that you don't cry and wimp over what someone did to you for ages.
thank you for letting me understand what it feels like to be driven by misery, and thereby succeeding.
well my only goal to prove someone wrong was to be happy.
and i honestly am very happy now.
thank you for allowing me to experience all this, a daunting time of being hurled shit at.
i hope you are as happy as i am now, 'cos i know i won't ever forget you.
the day i get married, have kids, grow old, and even till the day i die, i swear that deep down i recognise you and all you did.
you may warn me not to harbour my hatred to my coffin, but what is life if you don't feel?
feel with your heart.
feel, everything, with your heart.
the reason why god gave us a heart is probably to feel a thousand emotions, and some maybe beneficial or detrimental, but well, some things in life you just can't forget.
so yes.
thanks guys, for the memories.
thanks for building my strength up, thanks for teaching me valuable lessons in life, thanks for making me into who/what i am today.
i am a stronger me today because of who you are and what you've done.
i won't apologise for the angst (whatever you want to call it) in my post tonight.
just felt like ranting today for some apparent reason.
maybe because i'm hooked on to my childhood song, thnks fr th mmrs by fall out boy, again.
so angst that i like it.
nah probably 'cos i've heard some reflective words today too.
well yes, so i guess i'll head to bed now.
goodnight zombies.
