fun times!

hey hey hey!
i've been up to much this week :)
every single day of this week was fully packed heheh.
i'm really making full use of my break now before school starts again :(

friday (18 jan)
had a buffet lunch at shaw plaza, the usual place where i'd frequent with my grandparents!
my dad had vouchers to be used there, so we saved some on the bill :)
the spread became a lot less, because i remembered how i'd always look forward to this double-boiled soup on paper.
okay idk what you call it in chinese, but it's this soup that sits on a paper-bowl boiled over a heated flame.
i'm cantonese and i love soups.
these days i can't go without it, i need soup every meal, with the exception of breakfast.
so it was rather disappointing that they didn't have this anymore :(
but i replaced it with the soup that you could scoop from a pot.
ah well. it tasted the same altogether still :-)
after clearing the soup i dived straight into the sashimi section.... ;)
took all sorts of raw seafood: mussels, clams, salmon, yellowfish (?), prawns etc.
the salmon left was of a really scarce amount though!
and it wasn't exactly the freshest fish...
so yeah :(
went for the grilled + chinese stuff after that.
however i got full really easily and helped myself to barely any other food.
saved a small space in my stomach for dessert, which they had improved from the other time because this time there were b&j's!!!! :)
yay for awesome ice-cream hehehe.
took my favourite flavours, strawberry cheesecake and chocolate chip cookie dough yeah :)
i realised i've never had the privilege of having a tub of b&j's at home...
but it's fine, 'cos i don't think i'd be able to finish it on my own...
it's a tad too sweet for me when you eat too much.
so yup headed for the usual grocery-shopping with my grandparents after the lunch.
took a bus down to the nearest mrt station, boon keng, with them too.
i'm really grateful for my grandparents :-)
they're really good to me, and they pamper me a lot.... hahahaha.
but yeah, they've looked after me when i was young, so yeah there's this natural bond i've developed with them over the years :)
so anyway, took a train down to dhoby ghaut to meet my p6 clique yayyy :)
since i was relatively early, i decided to do some shopping on my own hehe.
the reason why i love plaza sing is because they have my favourite shops!!!
namely paper market, cache cache and daiso woohoo~
so i bought 3 sheets of paper, a set of alphabet stickers, and also 2 stamps for valentine's day! :)
the stamps were really cheap, but the ink pad costs a bomb!
like $9.90 for this really small pad of ink pshhh.
anw, i went to daiso to see if they had cheap ink pads but too bad they don't :(
so until now, i have the stamps but not the ink pad..... right.
bought a packet of nice labels from daiso too :)
met up with my clique then at dhoby ghaut mrt!!!
after some conflict, we decided on strictly pancakes for dinner!
but then the rain and the crowd hindered us from eating there :-(
so we changed location to eat at cineleisure's aston's :)
don't exactly like to eat western food anymore (idk why), but nonetheless, it was a good and affordable meal!
sat at aston's talking about a lot of school stuff and how much people changed :P
it's pretty cool how some ppl stayed the same since primary school!
went to buy b&j's after that and we sat there and took polaroids and pictures hehehe.
got all excited about cheap fleas after talking about that, so we left for scape thereafter!
i didn't manage to find my favourite $10 shorts from cotton on though :-(
ah well it's fine!
had a well-spent evening with my primary school clique and thank you guys for everything these years :) 

 

 

saturday (19/9)

met up with sheryl, stacy and yingxia to go shopping at bugis :-)

was really excited 'cos i haven't been shopping in ages, so yeah this was the time!!!

i honestly love shopping at bugis, 'cos firstly, the stuff there are really cheap!

ok it might not be of good quality, but still, i can wear it and that's what matters :P

secondly, there are really a lot of nice stuff to buy!!!

bugis street totally changed ever since i went there when i was p5/p6.

they used to sell those lame t-shirts hahaha but now they evolved into this really coolass fashion street!

it has become this place full of fashion trends ahaha.

the first thing that caught our eye was this really cheap long maxi dress for only $10!!!!

me, sheryl and stacy were hesitating to buy the dress 'cos like we just stepped into the place!

need to warm up a bit uh~

but yingxia was the boss, she bought a $10 skirt with some animal prints on it in a snap, like, WOW.

we explored the first floor and moved on upstairs!

and i went back to this stall that i wanted to buy smth from last time...

it was this sleeveless turquoise tank with a peter pan collar for $10.

so yup i bought that!!

then we went to rush, where yingxia bought her platform heels from.

the shoes there are of rather good quality, and are also really cheap!!!

i bought a pair of navy blue shoes with white ribbon adornments (slightly heeled) for $15!
great buy hehehe.

then we went to this really nice vintage shop that sold pretty bags!!!

it was where stacy got her red lunchbox bag from hahahahaha~

there was this brown (fake) leather bag in particular that had really pretty floral prints on it!

it cost me $30, and that was after sheryl also decided to buy the same brown bag but with different floral patterns!

my heart pain ahhhhh.

but honestly it was worth it :-)

'cos apparently it was handmade... and it's really pretty i like it soooo much ^^

so yeah then we had a really late lunch at a small food court on the 3rd floor of bugis street.

and i got myself a bowl of tomyum noodles yay :)

though it was really spicy, but yeah it was really shiok... :P

roamed around on the 3rd floor after that looking at accessories and more clothes!

so yeah i bought other small stuff like $1.50 nail polish & $3 hairpins yay :)

had to rush back afterwards to nex to grab my $10 cotton on shorts and sheryl's forest green shorts!!!

there were both our sizes but i didn't buy 'cos #1 i was pressed for time, and #2 they were so understaffed that it pissed me off 'cos they really didn't have hands to help the customers zzz.

to the cotton on outlet at nex: hire more staff will you please!!!

it was really pissing for me to buy clothes when there weren't any staff around to assist me.

pshhh.

train-ed down to harbourfront to meet my family for dinner to celebrate my grandpa's b'day!

tried to keep myself occupied the whole time by talking to my parents so as to distract myself from SOME of my relatives who would ask me non-stop questions about my o's results and school postings.

degrade or despise me all you want ok?

i don't really care anymore.

all i know is that i have done my best and that's all that really matters.

your opinion means nothing.

there was even post-dinner interrogation but whatever, ignored ignored ignored.

so yup that's how i spent my saturday :-)

thank you my shopping gang for the great afternoon too :)

monday (21/9)

woke up damn early at like 7.45am just to rush to school to get my testimonial...

how stupid was i???

never did it cross my mind that i had to go through much of those stupid procedures to get my testimonial...

i didn't even bring anything with me, not even a pen -.-

sighpie.

so i just took the form from the office and filled it up leisurely while i accompanied hannah around the school for hers hahaha.

met up with xiaohui after that 'cos she overslept....

took a bus to hougang mall and bought stuff for baking that afternoon at the red man shop :)

we were, however, 1 hour late, in meeting ashley at the bus stop near my place.

ooooops.

got more ingredients from a nearby ntuc, and went back to hurriedly eat lunch!

baked a really cool ham & mushroom pie for "lunch"!!!

i swear it was the best thing ever ;-)

we could actually cook hahaha!

then we went on to bake red velvet cupcakes!

i was really excited 'cos it was my first time trying out a velvet cupcake recipe~

sadly we kinda failed...

first, it became blue velvet cupcakes 'cos there was no red colouring LOLOLOL.

second, the texture came out pretty bad and was completely different from authentic velvet cupcakes.

however, we did manage to salvage the situation and turned our blue "velvet" cupcakes into cookie monsters! :-)

with icing and chocolate chips as the eyes and an oreo for it's mouth, they turned out quite cute hahaha!

the second batch failed because the colouring was really crazy.

beyond crazy i tell you.

we added a shit-load of blue and yellow colouring to try and get a nice green but it just became shittier (wow there's such a word) and shittier HAHAHA.

so much that my shit...........

ok nothing.

turned those into oscars instead but yeah... they were really disgusting :P

ah well.

had a good baking time and wii with xiaohui after that ;-)

i love mario kart on wii!!!

best game ever~

tuesday (22 jan)

went for cycling today :)

initially it was a class-based outing, but everybody backed out one-by-one, which was kinda pissing 'cos this cycling trip was obviously planned way beforehand.

and seriously.

the outing ended up with only sheryl and i going.

it was rather annoying 'cos there were so little people, but whatever, we both still had fun :)

we met up at east coast at around 1pm, but ecp was sooooooooooo big that we were completely lost.

we never expected ecp to have so many different areas.

at least we arrived at the same area c, so it wasn't that difficult to locate each other!

we continued walking and walking for i think almost like 30-45mins, and there was no mcdonalds in sight.

like wtf????

i think we were walking in the wrong direction -.-

but anyway we just continued talking and talking about stuff hahaha :)

yeah man, then we finally found an eatery!!!!!!!!!!!!

stopped by old town for lunch and had spicy noodles (AGAIN YAYYY) and their specialty - white coffee! :)

i swear their iced white coffee is amazing :*

we sat there for about 2 hours talking about everything 'cos the noodles were really too spicy for us to take :p

BUT I STILL LOVED 'EM.

i always see eating spicy food as a challenge, if i can't finish it this first time round, i'll make sure i come back to this place again, order the same food, and eat it up.

i'll repeat this if i still can't finish hahaha.

so yeah we just sat there talking till like 3.30pm omg!!!
it was so late already but, it was still great bonding time :)

left the lunch place to look for a bicycle rental shop, so we kept walking further up to area b & area a.

the further we walked, the more lost we were :(

ecp seemed like a completely different place at area a, it looked more like some reservoir or smth, with a lot of greenery.

so we decided to u-turn and walk back...

all that walking took us a whole 20mins omg :P

and guess what, the best thing was that the bicycle rental shop was just outside our lunchplace...

how did we walk past it and MISS it omg...

we're so fail!

but anyway the walking helped me to exercise a bit and also we caught up even more hahaha.

sheryl and i really just talked during every single minute of the walk hahah.

love how we can always chat about anything and everything :)

so anyway, we rented a tandem bike for 2 whole hours 'cos i guess there just wasn't enough time for me to learn how to ride a single bike...

so sheryl obviously took the front seat and i took the back...

there was some difficulty of us getting on the bike 'cos we weren't used to it.

then after we slowly got the hang of it, we just cycled all the way from area b (???) all the way to area e.

it was so damn far omg.

after cycling we realised how familiar we were with the surroundings 'cos of sports day and its reccee trips...

SIGH.

we are hopeless :P

so anw sheryl was the one cycling hard the whole time 'cos of the doubled weights while i just slacked behind and pedalled for the fun of it...

i think she got really tired so she kept threatening to topple the bike over >:(

tsk tsk tsk.

annoying!

stupid girl kept provoking me the whole time too hahahah it got me soooo mad.

when we u-turned, she kept forcing me to pedal the bike faster!!!

oh gosh my fitness level was like -100000 i got tired after pedalling hard for barely 200m hahahahahha.

i'm hopeless :P

guess what, I FELL DOWN OK!

'cos we completely lost control of the bike and then it tilted to the left and so i crashed on the grass with my butt landing.

sighpie, so many people were staring at me oh goodness :(

how embarrassing.

stopped by for ice-cream at new zealand's natural and really, just had a good talk over things :-)

i love how we can talk about everything srsly :)

cycled back to the bike rental place and returned the bikes.

walked back to parkway and bought fruit juice yay!

shopped around for presents, then we left the place :)

though we were ditched by the class, but i still had a great time!

thanks sheryl, and sorry about your finger :(

guess i was really too heavy whoops hahahaha!

wednesday (23 jan)

went out with my dear s&u company today!!! (with the exception of the gillians)

but the best thing was that everyone was late, and we were supposed to meet at vivo at 11.... -_-

AND I WOKE UP AT 10.45.

WOW JAMIE WOW.

punctuality at its maximum man.

ended up reaching vivo only at 12.15pm...

tsk jamie.

played monopoly deal at the sky garden area :-)

and i truly sucked haahha.

and anchi was seriously going crazy over the ryeowook cup we gave her hehehe!!!

glad that you like it a lot anchi ;)

and i hope you like your cup too amanda!! :)

then after that anchi went to buy koi for us while amanda and yingxia went to soak their feet in the water.

stacy, sheryl and i played taiti and i won quite a bit hehehe ;)

not bad for a noob like me huh ;)

after koi we all went to bask in the waters while stacy and yingxia just like hid in a corner in fear of getting wet.

and stupid sheryl pushed me in and so my shorts were COMPLETELY soaked. >:(

why are we always fighting, honestly.

HAHAHAHA.

wanted to eat seoul garden for lunch, but there was no bbq :-(

so we settled for the food court instead and i ate yong tau foo :)

went back up to daiso to go shopping!

but then there was an orange-juice accident hahahaha.

sheryl dropped her cup of juice and then the cup just kept leaking after that.

we were too embarrassed to go back in so we just waited outside at the sky garden playing monopoly deal~

and i totally owned her ^^v

a few minutes later yingxia came walking out, saying she spilled her ice-cream on herself too hahaha.

aiyooo today's a bad day of spilling things :P

continued with monopoly deal as a gang and anchi and stacy got really obsessed with painting our nails haha!

it was a pretty fun time~

took photos and polaroids with all of 'em and headed home :)
bought starbucks again hahaha, i'm addicted to java chip frap omg <3 p="">

the best drink on earth!!!

hope i can redeem my free 13th cup soon!!!

took a bus back with anchi and bought dinner home :)

had a good day out with my dearies, thanks guys :)))

love you all! :-)

thursday (24 jan)

baked with the doob today!!! :)

we were undecided about what to bake even just before buying the ingredients hahaha.

wanted to bake oreo cheesecake but found it a little tedious...

so we settled for milo cupcakes instead!

yay :)

bought the ingredients home and we cooked our own lunch haha!

we cooked instant noodles, and i tried to cook this plate of garlic sprouts which were an ultimate fail because they turned out to be slightly burnt...

sigh.

i am so hopeless.

watched running man over lunch with seowhwee and i was rly annoyed with the female guest of that episode (park ye jin).

omg lol i can't stand her...

after lunch we started preparing the ingredients and baking!

ran out of cupcake lining in the midst so we left the house to buy cupcake tins from the provision shop downstairs :)

after we put the cupcakes in the oven yihui came yay! :-)

prepared the icing together hehehe so much fun!!!

added the wrong thing in ok!

we mistook creamer for condensed milk sighhhh fail :P

and i purposely added a lot of cream cheese to the mixture 'cos it was overly sweet (and it still is).

CREAM CHEESE DOES WONDERS K!

there was a slight cheese taste to the icing in the end!

created our own icing squeezer with plastic bags and squeezed out lumps on the cupcakes that looked like poo hehehe.

then yihui suggested we do our names, and yessss we had enough!

so ya we took home our individual names and yeah seowhwee left :-(

yihui stayed on and she mapled for me! :)

but sigh she's a complete noob hahahahaha really!!

then we went upstairs to watch running man again over dinner!

this is the first time i actually bring food up to my room to eat ok!

you should feel honoured, yihui :P

jkjk.

she stayed till pretty late, like about 10.30pm!

walked her to the bus stop and then yeaaaah that's how the day ended~

thanks for a good day my retards!

love you all :-)

friday (24 jan)

woke up early to go for brunch with jieling, xiaohui, ashley and sylvia! :)

jieling recommended this bak kut teh at sin ming lane so we decided to try it since it's sylvia's first time having bak kut teh :P

"ARE YOU EVEN CHINESE"

hahahahahah ashley's comment is the best!

met at bishan at 10.30, but sylvia was late so we went to cotton on to shop!

AND THEY HAVE MY MAROON SHORTS.

ahhhh so precious :*

i must buy itttttt!

took a bus down to ai tong and tried to find the bak kut teh shop with the iphone maps!

ok they suck ya, like seriously.

we walked across this field of nothingness, cut through run-down industrial areas, walked a few streets down, and finally gave up because we decided to cab instead.

AND GUESS WHAT.

the cab took us back to the place that we came from omg!!!

we walked the wrong lane and completely missed it sigh.

made a big round for nothing.

what failures we are :(

anyway we finally got to the bak kut teh shop and we ordered 3 bowls of bak kut teh, fried egg, steamed fish and fried kangkong!

they gave a free bowl of peanuts as a starter which we gobbled hungrily after hiking for so long :P

when the food came i swear it was heaven!!!!!!!!

the soup was so so so refreshing, the pork meat with the dark soy sauce, the crunchy kangkongs, the tender steamed fish and the awesome fried egg!

everything we ordered was so damn good omg :)

we kept refilling the soups, but the staff there were absolutely friendly :)

i swear i'm going to come back again!!!

LOVE THIS BAK KUT TEH.

it's called rong cheng bak kut teh btw, for those who really like bak kut teh, it's at 26 sin ming lane ;-)

don't miss it pleaseeee it's darn good ^^

took a tourist shot near the place as a memory and this marked our first food expedition :)

so yup we might go for a second one next thursday.... claypot rice! :)

yay for claypot rice~~~

had to rush back to school to fetch my sister to the dentist.

she had an extraction done and was crying really loudly! :(

she seemed like she was in so much pain sigh what a poor girl :'(

after the extraction, my sister was actually looking for xiaohui omg!

"where is xiaohui jiejie i want to say bye to her"

:((((

first time i've seen her so attached to someone!!!

had to give my cca auditions a miss because i was in a rush back home...

my sister's teeth wouldn't stop bleeding sigh, it even continued through the night ohhh :(

but it's a lot better now~

saturday (25 jan)

spent most of my day alone at home yay.

did my own ironing and also cooked my own dinner.

but again the garlic sprouts i cooked were slightly burnt... :(

the edamame was damn good though!!!!

and soba sigh i love sobaaaa :)

my weekends are usually less exciting because i don't head out...

wanted to go for flea that evening but no one wanted to go :(

ah well!

school's starting in less than a week sigh.

I DON'T WANT MY HOLIDAYS TO END

fall seven times, get up eight

10th january came a little too soon.

results were thrown back to us way too fast.

i remember i was feeling quite unnerved before the release of results... idk why.

i guess it was good that i wasn't tensed up and all, but too bad i guess i had to pay a price after that...

when we gathered in the hall, the wait was what killed us/me.

all that talk about the administration matters & open houses seemed really unimportant to me at that time.

i just wanted to get back my results so i would know where i can go!

and the announcing of our dux......

IT'S SEOW HWEE THE DOOB WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*throws confetti in the air*

OMG THAT MOMENT OF GLORY.

WE WERE ALL CLAPPING IN ADMIRATION FOR HER :)

AND TRULY WE WERE ALL SO PROUD OF HER FOR HONORING PL!!!

this is indeed the #seowhweepride :)

                              

hi seow hwee i am so so so proud of you.

10 a1s is really no mean feat.

though i kinda predicted you'd be the dux, but i'm still awed by your perfect results!

a1s for all 9 subjects is already commendable enough, but you actually got a1 for french omg :')
you're truly a genius, doob, i am srsly so so so so proud of you.

hahaha it's really true!!!

and the best thing about you is that you're so loveable 'cos you're so humble :)

PL HAS FINALLY MADE HISTORY THANKS TO YOU MY DEAR RETARD.

my pride for you will never cease to exist HAHAHA.

okay so anyway, putting aside the seowhwee pride, we got back our individual results one by one.

and all sorts of reactions i had witnessed.

majority were that of shock and disappointment, and hardly any were actually squealing in delight.

i was anticipating my turn...

and then it really came.

the second i grabbed hold of my cert, saw the first 3 subjects, and suddenly realised how badly i did.

after signing on the class list, i caught sight of my L1R5 score.

in my mind i was like "shit jamie, you're really done for this time".

i was reeling with disbelief as i looked at my cert.

how...? why...?

what on earth happened?

the next thing i knew i was in tears.

in a bucketful of tears....

i collapsed to the ground with my face buried in my hands, just like how all my dreams really collapsed to heaps.

i cried, and cried, and cried.

i don't even know how to explain this disappointment, but all i know was that i cried non-stop.

suddenly everything i wanted to do in the future seemed almost impossible.

it just felt like i let my parents down.

i wanted to study hard to make them proud of me, but what have i done???

they always tell me my best is enough, and they never expected much out of me.

and look at this. my results were terrible.

though various people came to comfort me, i was feeling really sore on the inside.

what am i going to do from here?

how am i going to face everyone out there?

i remember ms gan very clearly coming to me to comfort me.

she offered me tissue paper and told me some things i will never forget.

"it's okay jamie, you have done well."

thank you ms gan.

you coming to tell me that i have done well was really something that meant a lot to me.

though everyone back at home tells me the same thing, it indeed is different hearing it from a teacher.

though you have never taught me before, except a few interactions in the prefectorial board, this little word of encouragement will ring in my ears for a long time to come.

thank you.

"....you had a lot of responsibilities to bear...."

yes, these words made me reflect upon so much.

from my service as the vice president in the harp ensemble, to a member of the prefectorial board, indeed i have devoted myself to service in pl.

and these servant leadership experiences i've acquired will be something that will stay with me for life.

results really aren't everything, it's your character that defines you.

and i believe that pl has moulded me into a fine person.

i'm truly grateful to pl for providing me with countless leadership opportunities, and for letting me taste the true value of servant leadership here.

the friends i've made and the bonds i've forged,

the memories i've created and the experiences i've shared,

is really incomparable to the results i got that day.

so yeah, after i stopped tearing temporarily, i went to comfort stacy...

i guess the disappointment of our results were too much to bear.

cheer up stacy! :)

and everyone else out there who is feeling really disappointed too.

and to yihui, i hope you're feeling tons better already.

if you see this by chance, please know that i'm really really here to help you.

i really want to help you, it pains me to see you cry so hard.

i'm really very worried for you, please open up....

keep your mood up ok, it's really not the end, in fact, it's only the beginning.

don't be discouraged ok sotong, i will always be here for you.

yup so i just continued with like sporadic intervals of crying 'cos i still couldn't get over my shitty grades.

went to nex after that with yx and stacy to gorge ourselves 'cos we were honestly too disappointed.

had pastamania + sogurt at 4+...

even went to reflect about life outside the library hahaha what retardedness :P

but yeah.

after i got home i was still emotionally unstable because i really.... just couldn't get over it.

phone calls from relatives made me feel a thousand times worse.

i was taking poly into consideration very seriously, and there some people are telling me that a diploma will never get you a job and all that crap.

i was so darn frustrated with them. 

like seriously, my results were already disappointing enough, can't you just let me be and let me decide for myself?!

i know what's best for myself, why must you pry into my decision???

you're not even my parent.

ugh, feeling even shittier as the night passed. 

continued to tear up at the slightest mention about the results/colleges etc.

after my family went to bed, i cried.

i cried even harder than at school.

a million things were running through my mind that night.

about how i didn't meet my personal expectations, about how i might just end up in poly alone, about how we'd all be separated from one another, about how life would continue, about.... everything.

i was so so so daunted by this failure, 'cos it was almost like history repeating itself.

i studied so so so hard for psle, and ended up performing the worst among everyone.

i studied equally hard for o's, and turned out to score badly too.

for all those who tell me "you did great, nothing to cry about" should really just shut up.

at that point of time i wasn't in the right state of mind to listen to all that "encouragement".

i cried my heart out, my eyes were sore and puffy, my throat was absolutely dry, my jaw was painfully aching, my nose was running non-stop and the tears rolled down incessantly.

it was... that feeling of shit.

true blue shit, i was really at the pit bottom of my life.

the tears were all blinding me as i was whatsapp-ing...

thank you sheryl for being there always to comfort & console me, listening to the reasons for why i was crying and really, listening to just almost everything i said till i fell asleep.

thank you so much for trying to cheer me up, and really just lifting my mood.

i'm very grateful for a friend like you :')

thank you for the coffee you made the next day too~

so yeah i just went to bed that night feeling a whole load better, but waking up with swollen upper lids and a huge zit was no joke.

the next day, it was torture getting up.

though i heard the alarm, i didn't wanna get up 'cos i was still reliving in yesterday's shit.

i didn't wanna wake up to face reality, to go for the college open houses.

i just wanted to continue sleeping the disappointments away.

after a wake-up call and a really sweet encouraging text from my mom, i finally got out of bed and headed out to check out the jcs.

went for nyjc, srjc, ajc and cjc's open houses and they're all pretty good :)

but honestly do you know how i really felt that day?

the feeling from the day before came sinking back in again.

like how i did poorer than my friends, and how i'd never be able to make it to the same colleges as them.

the discussion about entering the better colleges made me feel really down.

i can't even make it to a second-tier college........

and that almost everyone around me could.

it just made me feel even more bitter and disappointed about my results despite the fact that i worked really hard.

that sheer disappointment was really unexplainable.

but i don't blame any of you guys, no hard feelings.

just, truly irked by my own self.

went for the sajc open house the following day and argh it just pains me again how i know i won't be able to make it there.

i really really really want to enter sajc, but too bad my results don't allow me to.

sajc's culture is rather similar to pl's and it just gives me the sense of belonging, it's like as though you're going back home.. :)

but too bad.

thought long and hard about everything and in the end i decided to enter college instead.

though it might not be a reputable one, i like the environment a lot and i just hope i get in.

fingers crossed that my appeals would succeed too.

but yes i'm feeling a lot better now, thank you everyone who were there by my side to keep me afloat from disappointments...

i'm very grateful for the people that have crossed my paths.

i love you all so much.

always believe that something wonderful is about to happen

poly > jc?

visited 3 poly open houses today! :)
definitely changed my perspectives about education in polytechnics.
i know sometimes they might exaggerate a little in their advocation, but honestly, it sounds like a worthwhile prospect.
really, poly life sounds so damn fun in contrast to jc.
jc is just another college, going to school at the usual wee hours in the morning, staying back till dusk 'cos of cca sessions, studying your ass off for the terms...
i'm honestly sick of that kind of life.
i want to try something new, like poly life.
attending lectures and having a lighter load when studying seems a lot more attractive than the dull life ahead in jc.
but of course, the career opportunities ahead after each institution is vastly different...
i really gotta consider this carefully...

first stop was ngee ann poly.
i was pleasantly surprised by the students there, they're really warm and friendly!
every student ambassador you passed by would be "hi!!!!! welcome to ngee ann!!!!!" very excitedly.
it made us feel very welcome and comfortable in this warm environment.
not only were the student ambassadors nice, but they also gave directions very well.
we were led smoothly to the place to collect the goodie bags, and also the other np magazines & cookies that came along with it :-)
it was very systematic and there was just no fuss about it.
straight after collecting our goodie bags was an adam khoo workshop given to us for free.
the speaker talked a lot about life, and that doing something you like is crucial and so on...
i really admire him because he made poly life sound very interesting, and i was really tempted to attend poly instead of jc :O
also, the cool part of the course was that there was a survey for you to assess your values and interests, so you could actually narrow the range of your course exploration around the campus.
right after the talk there were even students who held clear signs on the various schools to visit and know more!
i was really satisfied, as a guest in the school.
my survey results showed that i was well-suited for people-oriented courses, so i decided to head to the school of humanities and social sciences.
visited the psychology studies booth and played this interesting beanbag game.
the rationale behind this game really made the course sound doubly intriguing.
the optical illusions that we tried to figure out really speaks a lot about how the mind works and everything.
it just made me want to find out so much more about psychology.
the setback however, is that, to enter this course, the L1R4 score is 9...
and if i actually got a 9, of course i'd choose to enter a junior college, right?
so if i do badly, psychology might just not be available for me...
sigh.
next, we popped by the chinese media & communication booth.
it was fun playing with the props they provided and taking pictures against the cool backgrounds ^^
then it was the chinese studies booth!
they did this kind of like "fortune-telling" thing - all you have to do is give them your chinese name and they'd analyze the meaning for you :P
and mine meant that i would be financially stable and prosperous :)
yay for it if it's true!!!
early childhood education & psychology sounds interesting but i think the pay's not too good...
though its double degree opportunity beats its same course at tp.... i don't think i'd go for this 'cos i have zero patience with kids.
and arts business management sounds really cool, 'cos you get to organise arts events and be involved in the arts scene in sg!
but abm requires lots of artistic skills and creativity, something i lack :(
a year 3 student who showed us round their gallery explained many of their installation art to us, and i must say the works put up were really brilliant :)
not only does it have a meaning, but the painting and photography skills displayed were simply fantastic.
collected cute fun fact cards from the signature place too!
abm also designs the booklets you get on learning journeys etc.... yup.
i would have considered this course if not for the need to be really artsy-fartsy.
the last stop we went was business and social enterprise, which was a really really good course.
you get to kill two birds with a stone - set up your own business and also contribute back to society.
it's like professional meets moral.
they've set up this ice cream shop to hire np students from low-income families as a part-time job for them to work in, and the ice cream we redeemed from them is so damn good.
it's a really good business idea to help those in need.
after that we all gathered at the convention centre to get free candy floss!
did the ngee ann cheer to get a free np shirt! :)
cool stuff huh ^^
set off for singapore poly after that!
don't have much to talk about sp because it was pretty disappointing.
the open house was not as well-organised as ngee ann's.
tp as usual was really rah-rah and... a tad too rowdy.

my regret today was not being able to attend nanyang poly's open house!!!!!!
if i really really had no choice because of my poor results and had to go to a poly, i'd choose nyp 'cos they've got the course i want!!!!
i really wanna do food science & nutrition there.
though the cut-off point is 16, it does act as a safety cushion for me in case i do badly...
which is a blessing in disguise because although i didn't do well, i get to do something i'm passionate about.
furthermore, if i take this course at nyp, i get to choose to enter singapore's institute of technology and obtain an honours in human f&n, which is my ultimate aim.
i just hope this passion lasts for long because i don't want to regret my choice again later.
i did my homework on jcs the night before too... and it's worrying how all their cops are improving...
i'm worried i can't make it to a jc.
but nonetheless if i do make it to at least a second-tier college, ptl :)
i don't have any ideal college in mind, i'll just go wherever the results will take me.
no particular preference whatsoever, but i've already decided what subjects i will take if i enter jc.
i'd do h2 chem, h2 bio, h2 math, h1 econs (?) and those compulsory ones.
still contemplating whether to take history again or not, but then again i don't want to drop econs just for history.
econs might get boring for me, but the most important thing is that it's a practical subject...

so yup i actually already have a goal in life, and that is to work as a dietician at health promotion board.
sounds stupid but yes that is my aim.
i tried often a few times to picture myself in a white lab coat.... and a gold badge with my the hpb logo, my name, and the position "dietician" carved nicely on it.
i'd picture myself with my own "clinic", where patients with diet problems came to visit me and i'd give them advice to eat well and stay healthy.
my job would also consist of designing and planning of nutritional posters and charts...
don't think i'd be able to do that much but, it sounds like a really exciting thing for me :)
if i really do get to do this in the future, i'd say my life goal has been achieved and i would be very happy.
let's hope i don't waver, and stick to this goal for a lifetime.

anyway, i don't know if i'm putting too much thought into life now, but i'm scared.
why?
it got me worried that i had a future full of uncertainties.
i didn't want to live life without a purpose.
i used to just want to enter a junior college because i had "no aim in life".
seriously, there should be a purpose to everything we do in life right?
and since o level results are going to be out in less than 2 days, i decided to get down to being serious...
not that i've made my decision (permanently) yet but, at least i have a major goal to work at for now.

it scares me, though, that life is passing so quickly.
i still remember my first day at primary school, eating pork floss bread from a pink powerpuff girls lunchbox.
i still remember my first day at secondary school, entering 1-2 feeling rather alone 'cos i didn't have my close friends with me.
i still remember the last day of secondary school, where i spammed polaroids with the people i was afraid i couldn't get to meet up with again.
and today right now, i am sitting here, in technically 1 day time, awaiting to collect my o level results.
life is passing too quickly.
we'd soon be posted to our various schools, be it poly or jc, i know we'd be separated...
it's a hard truth of life that i know but can't bring myself to accept.

and suddenly the first time by boys like girls is playing in my head again.
"that you never get a second chance at the first time, we will never be 18 again."

let's look back at 2012

hello hello.
look how fast time has flown, it's already the last day of 2012.
so i guess this is the time of the year where by people reflect upon how 2012 has been, their resolution
for 2013, and i guess also to thank the people who've made a difference in their lives this year.
i do want to do the above 3, and hope i can cram all these in this one post.


anyway, 2012 has been one of the best years of my life.
why do i say so?
well, despite the stress from our o's this year, i feel very accomplished.
i might not have given my very very very very very very best for my exams, but i know this was the best i could offer.
and the best thing about all this exam madness is that you know you're never alone.
your friends are doing this together with you, and that what makes it all special.
you share all the joy with them - when we do well together, we celebrate.
you share all the pain with them - when we fall (fail), we tear.
in the midst of our busy schedules i am surprised we actually found much time to bond and have fun together.
it was my most eventful year in my secondary school life i must say.
2012 was the year i learnt a lot about myself, as well as others.
2012 was the year that taught me that the key to happiness is letting go.
2012 was the year that i learnt to love.

so yes, looking back at this year, here are my top 5 most memorable events of 2012 :)
they're not in any particular order so yup here goes.

#1 Back To Basics Camp

this is the camp that i truly enjoyed and learnt so much from.

firstly what makes it so special that it was a camp organised during the march holidays.

in my almost-three years in the board, this is the first time the exco actually planned for a camp as a farewell.

as an introvert (pretty much) during the camp, it kinda taught me about the real world, realising how important being open and outspoken is.

if not you'd just get trampled on.

but other than the cruel reality i've learnt about, i also cherish and value the times spent with the board.

the above photo signifies so much about what we'd do randomly together at times :)

the lessons and memories from my whole journey are priceless. :')

#2  PL to USS

thank you PL for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of visiting USS as a school.

i was really hesitant and worried about going because i'm not exactly the most adventurous person around.

i am pretty afraid of sitting on roller coasters...

and indeed my life changed when i got onto the "scariest" ride in USS.

i honestly felt like i was going to die or something.

i just screamed non-stop, waiting for the ride to end hahaha.

but yes, the common saying of "life is like a roller coaster" became really surreal.

i looked forward to the parts where the roller coaster was moving very slowly, and also when the roller coaster ascended.

similar to life, i like it when things are going at a comfortable pace.

it's like you're problem-free and can put your mind at ease 'cos you don't sense any imminent dangers.

also, the ascension of the roller coaster could be likened to a smooth path in life.

when things progress smoothly, you'd feel satisfied, and even more, accomplished, when you progress all the way to the peak.

however, on the coasters, everytime it descended or flipped 360 degrees around i had this bad bad feeling i was going to fall or have something terrible happen to me.

just like how things in life go wrong, you feel like as if you're falling through a bottomless pit and no one's there to save you.

i feel really philosophical; but yeah that day scared me out of my wits, played to my fullest and also taught me much about life :P

#3 Sec 4 Farewell

4 years in this ensemble, just flew past like that.

i still remember the days when we were in sec 1, and were newly joined noobies :P

when i had only one friend i could talk to...

it's pretty amazing how we became this batch of harpists that went through so much together.

enduring all the scoldings because we're one of the weakest levels.

bursting all the blisters we got because of endless practice sessions.

we've been through so much together i don't think i'll ever forget that.

the times we actually gathered out of school to bake//have bbq.

and this sec 4 farewell came too fast...

it was really time for us to let go and move on with our lives, relaying the baton on to our juniors.

and i pray, with all my heart, that the sec 3s will shine like never before :)

#4 Prom Night

this was significant because it marked the last day of me being in PL as a sec 4.

and this dinner - i had lots of fun :)

from bidding farewell to my teachers to bonding over meals to taking photos as a memory, it was one of the most memorable night of my life.

special preparations like shopping for the dresses with my friends,  having our make-up and hair done together and also staying up all night in a hotel, it was really something i treasure very much. 

thank you teachers for organising this amazing dinner i will never forget :)

so much love for everyone in the same cohort, too.

#5 Australia, Gold Coast

this was the perfect getaway place to reward myself after the big o's :)

took in so many sights i can't help but marvel at all the photos again.

it was really the best of the best, from the shopping to the seafood to the sights and scenes...

everything about gold coast was perfect!

since this is also my first time going to a non-asian country, it made everything all the more awesome and beautiful hahaha.

but honestly the next getaway place for me will definitely be south korea ^^

the shopping looks really attractive, and i've always been curious to try out korean foods too, thanks to running man :P

skiing would be great fun too!!!

AWESOME.

thanks to australia i'm starting to love travelling ;)

now it's time for me to show my appreciation to those who have made my 2012 so so amazing :)

those that have been there for me, and shared both my joy and woes.

it's my honour to have met and known you all, and since this is our last year in PL, i really want you to know that i love you guys very much and i will miss you all.

thank you for being who you are; you guys are beyond amazing and you should know that :)

yes here's to my lovely clique that have always been there every recess.

will miss the times we talked about everything at the round tables, and also the occasional table tennis sessions ;)

it may have been a very short time together, but i genuinely enjoyed every minute with you guys.

here's to our table of 10 and the amazing people in it!

♥♥♥

okay so let's start off with the closer dedications shall we?

they're in no particular order so yuppp don't assume.

firstly, ashley my desk buddy :)

dear ashley, thank you so much for this whole year. i have really enjoyed spending time with you and i'm glad we got the chance to become table partners :) glad i got to know you a lot better throughout this year through our interaction in class daily. thank you so much for everything hahaha i really don't know where to start. ok how about something we're good at, being gay? :P you never 'judge' me huh, in fact play along and be gay with me hahahaha. i love the hilarious times during class when we do all sorts of crazy stuff! like our cat and dog rendition of we are young, our gay version of gold forever (the wanted fans please don't get me wrong we're not poking fun at the song), our noodle store, our countdown during chinese lessons etc etc. there's so much we've done together and looking back, it really makes me smile :) you never fail to crack me up and i finally found someone who's just like me - wanting to poo in the morning ahahaha! i remember the time i cried after spotcheck and you comforted me... thanks a lot :') i'll always remember you and how you would always be ever cheerful and nice to me. and i'm so proud that you are our miss cambridge!! :) thanks gayley, you made 2012 awesome and i love you :)

alongside with this favourite table gang of mine heh :)

thank you for the endless laughter hehehe~

my gay buddy ashley, my quarreling buddy sheryl and my childhood (can be considered as childhood right hahaha) friend tianwei, thanks so much for making lessons so damn fun :)))

dear sheryl, thank you for being a really good friend of mine for the past 4 years. time really flies, i still remember how noob we were in sec 1.

*inserts noob photo here*

(okay it's an early sec 2 photo because i look way too noob in the sec 1 one)

anyway, thank you for being someone who could tolerate all my nonsense. and i really mean nonsense. i remember how i pms-ed almost every single day and took it out on you. i know it's darn irritating, but you still put up with it. i probably gave you and the rest loads of bullshit in the first 2-3 years. but yeah, i remember everytime when things happened, you were always there to listen to me and how i felt. (or maybe it was just once only hahaha) i guess you're the one who taught me how to let go and just be HAPPY 'cos that's how you are right? trouble-free and always just laughing everything off :) and you always boast that i changed for the better because of your annoying insults hurled at me everyday... no doubt it's true. despite our everyday quarrels (and i seriously mean everyday), i still love you hahaha. i will miss you picking on everything i do and me criticising your ego :) honestly, i couldn't ask for a better friend like you too. thank you for studying with me almost everyday during the intensive period, and our consultation sessions... all the hard work we put in together (esp. for our humans), i'm sure it'll pay off. i hope we'd both do well for our o's and move on to our desired schools. so yes to my really amazing friend who has a completely opposite personality from me, i want you know you've been really awesome this year (especially) and in my whole 4 years of secondary school too. thank you sheryl the stoop for everything, you're awesome in your own way and i love you :)

 

^ okay the lighting is horrible but... this is the best photo i could find :P

dear stacy, thank you for these 4 years of friendship. i really don't know what more i could ask for :) you've been really nice and all, and honestly i will never forget the times we were in sec 1... when you were still 'naughty' and all hehehe, skipping your training sessions just to take bus home together aww :) and also, how could i forget the sock and shoebag throwing thing during malay class in the toilet hahaha!!!! anyway coming back to the more recent times, i really appreciate you and the card you gave me punctually on my birthday :) i'll miss calling you fatty and fatfat and rolling around and all... i swear our whatsapp convo history is priceless. you're the best shopping buddy i' ve ever had, really. love how i actually criticise the clothes you like hehehehe :P but i guess also no one is as patient as you in shopping with me... :) we should really go out again sometime to shop hehe. but the thing is you always encourage me to buy everything i like HAHA!!! besides that i'd remember how we'd always brag about how skinny we'd both are... and also the time i cried over something in the toilet... you were there for me :) speaking of the toilet, we always go to the toilet before lessons (chinese especially HAHAHA) to kill time hahaha!!! going to miss that :( i'm ever grateful for someone like you, really. thank you fatty, for being such a good friend of mine these 4 years, i love you & i'll never forget you :')

dear yingxia, thank you for making my 2012 so memorable :) really, in fact, you've been a great friend these 4 years. i remember how you'd always be so competitive but also really helpful at the same time :) whenever i needed any help from you about work, you'd never fail to help me to the best and never did you complain too... :) and when you quit the zoo tuition, it was really weird w/o you... we (or maybe just me HAHAHA) missed your hilarious laughter so much, and also how you'd always be named the ahlian.. you're also my no.1 telephone buddy hehe, for always calling me up to ask questions and also to sometimes rant about your day/your brother/how unprepared we were for the tests etc. :P and i'm glad i joined mavis too! despite the fact that i was probably more of a distraction to you instead, i really enjoyed talking to you about everything and confiding in you whenever things happened. and the time we freaked out together about "dying" was so epic lol! your compelling spirit (the time when you forced me to go visit you at work) is scary but it'll always crack me up so bad hehehe. thanks so much for everything you've done for me this year, including that pretty cotton cloud card you did for me (and yet it 'failed' because you got the parachute thing completely wrong), i'll always remember you :)

dear abigail, thank you for a wonderful 2012 :) though we only became close last year, i'm glad i got to know you a lot better :) thank you for all the cip opportunities and all the fun times we had together! like going to sentosa as a class, and also during our prom period! enjoyed shopping for dresses together, and also when we did our makeup and hair together :) it's really something we'd girlfriends would do together hehehe. and also the time we stayed up all night to talk about everything after the dinner... it made prom all the more better hehe. and bio tuition too!!! talking about s.b. and gossiping about the boys hahaha. honestly i think we all should go to sentosa again soon... i swear beach volleyball, suntanning, and basking in the water is so much fun haha!!! despite the burns (like that time you had), i'm anticipating for another great time of fun~ i hope we don't lose touch and that we'll keep in contact for a long time to come! all the best for o's results and also to your future too :) thanks for making 2012 awesome!! :)

 

dear seow hwee, thank you for being the best buddy i could ever ask for. i really really wouldn't know what i'd do without you in the board. you were always someone who was there, someone i could talk to about anything (but giving a really deadpan response), but you're really amusing haha. your deadpan responses and your superb wits are entertaining hehehe. and though sometimes i poke fun of you, you seem cool about it and that's what makes you so cute hahahaha. at times when you have outbursts of weirdness (like you spazzing over joongki) cracks me up real bad too!!! oh and coincidentally, you're the person i've taken the most number of polaroids with! i've got 23 polaroids with you lol! i truly love viber-ing with you, and all that friendly banter on twitter... hehehe. i swear 2012 would have been really boring without you :( i hope we'll keep in touch girl, i really hope we do :) i know you'll be the dux of our batch right hehehe. and if we really do stay in touch for a long time, let's keep to our "pact" and travel to korea tgt after uni okay ^^ anyway, i promised to make sure you get a life after o's... i hope these few outings have made you have a life HAHAHAHA. love you so much doob, i'll always be here for you if you need someone to talk to. though so far i've never seen you shed a tear or feel sad before (I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T CRY DURING LES MISERABLES) because you have a rock-hard heart hehehe so anyway, thank you for 2012 my dear retard :)

dear yihui, 2012 was really one crazy year for us huh? those bad memories we've left behind in this year. but i'm glad we pulled through, and became even closer after everything :) really, things fall apart so other things can fall together in place. anyway, putting aside those negative times, thank you for being someone so dear to me ever since sec 3. you're really like a sister to me - someone i trusted fully, someone i could look to whenever i was down, someone i could be always be happy/joyful/crazy/retarded with. cherish the times we actually had heart-to-heart talks, studied together, played table tennis till 7pm in school and went crazy, became retarded on our own in a corner during prefect camps and so much more... the times i've spent with you are endless, endlessly hilarious as well. and it's cool how we can understand each other most of the time, almost like we could read each other's minds. creepy but amazing :) the times we actually sat on the swing in school pondering about life... till we became giddy HAHAHA. oh yes, i promise you will be the first to know if i like any guy/have a crush on a guy okay ;) since you tell me so much all the time. now's just not my time yet hehehe i will make up for it :P and thank god you got whatsapp hehehe yay. no more money-less phone haha!!! so yes, i hope your future will run smoothly too :) thank you for the wonderful memories in PL, my dear retard :) 

thank you guys for making my 2012 so amazing.

no lies, 2012 has been one of the best years of my life :)

so here's to the chapter of our life we've just closed, and to the future we'd embark on.

the first line of the chorus means so much to me...

"that you never get a second chance at the first time..... we will never be eighteen (sixteen) again."