Temporary freedom!

hi everyone :)
as you all can see i haven't blogged for a month :p
and i've finally had the chance to sit in front of the computer and clicked 'blogger.com' :)
okay so i'll cover various aspects of my stressful life that i've gone through for the past month.

Common Tests
bleah. i don't even wanna talk about it. no a1s this term i can bet. :( i screwed up practically everything, especially chem and bio. idw to be put on probation :'( please god, help me.

CCA
i've already memorised my songs for syf, the only thing i'm concerned is that i screw up during the audition and then i cmi. i really really really want to get into syf, not just for the cca points, but because it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. and i do hope all the harpists who deserve it make it to the performing team ♥ :) pl cherubs ftw, let's get gwh this year!

i'll blog about the sad stuff sometime soon.
kthxbye.

I'm not perfect.

Tag replies:

30/1
Yeewah: Hahaha yeah ;)

seriously.
sometimes i guess i really wonder about things too much.
but this time, i've had enough.
i know i should be taking this time to complete my work/study for common tests.
but i just needed a break, both physically and mentally.

school's already putting me off so much, and you still have the cheek to show me that stupid attitude of yours.
i'm trying to be nice to you, but all you know how to do is give me that annoying face of yours.
i'm helping you so much already, and you don't even appreciate one single bit of it.
don't come crying to me one day when you need me.
who asked you to take my help for granted.
seriously, can't you just learn to be independent and stop relying on others to provide you everything.
and without even working for it, you get rewarded pretty well.
you always put on your stupid annoying attitude, stop acting like you're the best k.
this world's just so unfair, this statement's so true.
please change your attitude, cos' from the start, though i've been trying to help you, but now i've run out of patience.
and it's not like you appreciate my help.

it's got me thinking about something else too.
i asked myself this question yesterday - just how many true friends do i have?
i define true friends as people who stand by each other no matter what, people who help each other selflessly, people who understand each other inside out, people who i can really have fun with, people who just, well, are nice-loving.
it's hard to put it in words, but i'm sure you get the big picture.
and i counted, i have 9.
like... you kidding me, seriously?
9?
right, so maybe, after all i do only have 9 true friends.

fine.
maybe i'm not as talkative, lively, responsive and involved in your secret little conversations and jokes as other people are.
but it's just that some of you don't know me well enough!
can't you just accept me as who i am?
i'm tired of trying to change for you.
i'm not your toy.

i'm tired of doing everything for everyone, tired of always being the one making sacrifices, tired of always being the one getting hurt, tired of being the one you talk to only when you have no one else, tired of being used, tired of constantly putting on a brave front, tired of being the goody-goody kid, tired of a one-way friendship, tired of being someone whom i'm not, tired of making changes to myself just to suit your needs, i'm just so tired.

You know what's wrong with being too strong? Nobody bothers to ask if you're okay.